"48Teen!"
Dealing with your teen's never easy-slut friends, sex, dating-especially when that teen is your 48-year old mom. It will get ugly. Now you're in charge...Great.
We meet DONNA a mother of three, in a raunchy, laughable montage of the past, yelling at her hell-bent, whiskey-bound, teenage daughter SARAH for stupid things one does as a teen.
Scene upon scene Sarah walks through the front door with a different indiscretion, aging slightly each time. To all of which her mother responds with sarcastic criticism. Sarah both equally defies and resents her Mom with bitchy, sometimes comically misspoken, teenage quips.
Donna, Sarah's mom, is never wrong in her own mind, though she'll never admit it, and Sarah takes after her mother completely in this aspect.
The story continues 10 years later. Sarah is fresh out of grad school and looking for work as a psychologist - a major she chose in an effort to make sense of her crazy adolescent life.
Sarah moves in with her reluctant sister DANA, Dana's husband PHIL, and their three sons, JON, BON, and JOVI. Sarah explains that she would have moved in with Dana's twin brother DANA, but he can't be bothered. Sarah's sister Dana agrees to let Sarah stay until she can find work.
Soon thereafter everyone's world is changed when, without warning, Donna, drops her bags on Dana and Phil's front steps. She's had enough of their father, KENT, who Donna married at the startling age of sixteen, and recently caught on some "internet chatting site" and wants a divorce from - she thinks - and is now separated. None of them want her to move in, but they relent, giving in to her. Donna states quite simply, "If he wants to fuck around, let the FUCKING AROUND BEGIN!"
Donna needs help moving on with her life. Sarah, jobless and dateless, tries to boost her mom's self-esteem.
Inexperienced with the world of dating, Donna starts operating with the hell-bent, whisky-bound, teenage mentality and angst she rallied so hard against when she raised Sarah.
Now, it's mom acting the part of a teenager and it’s Sarah who finds great solace in responding with her own sarcastic criticism. Donna both equally defies and resents Sarah.
And so Donna embarks on her quest to "FUCK AROUND!" Newly convinced by her marital mishap that her life has to change, Donna strives for the life she never had as a woman that got married right of high school and was quickly impregnated.
Looking to hearken back to the good old days, Donna goes on a dating RAMPAGE. Seeking the glory and glamour of the teenage life she never had, she, and her cougar-ish sidekick WET BETSY hit the dating scene.
Clubbing, dancing, and nights of drunken abandon commence.
Along with her interest in reclaiming her lost youth, Donna also decides to do a little self-improvement, i.e. tanning, a daring new hairstyle, youthful clothing that is way too tight, a gym membership, and even a drunken night that includes a supposedly trendy tattoo; a giant tramp-stamp of a cougar with Japanese characters.
After a night of too many slippery nipples and blow job shots, Donna drunkenly decides to sneak a twenty-something dude she picked up at the night club home. Long story short, Dana’s family’s dog, Snickerdoodle, the Labra-poodle, poops out a condom in front of Dana’s kids the following morning.
Donna now decides to try dating men her own age.
Sarah gets a very promising, secretive, and lucrative psychology-related job opportunity and moves out and away from her family...
As a last resort, Donna - now depressed and feeling like no man wants her - resorts to the last bastion, internet dating, the supposed foe that ruined her marriage.
Enlisting herself on a number of different websites, Donna continues to date men who are wrong for her. She signs up for www.MEET-MEAT.com and she thinks she hits the jackpot. This particular website is actually for gay men, run by her son Dana, girl-Dana's twin.
After accidentally dating her own son, Dana - both using pseudonyms, they come to the realization of who they each are. Dana is gay, Donna reconciles and decides enough is enough.
In a last ditch effort Donna signs herself up for the most expensive of dating databases, www.100%BLINDDATEMATCH.com. The website includes a one-on-one interview in which she has to truly admit what she wants to an examiner behind a 2-way mirror.
Donna is told she has an UNPRECEDENTED match of 99%. The person she meets with to receive the news is Sarah. This was the job she got and to both their surprises, they bond because of it.
Donna decides to take a chance. It turns out, her 99% match, is her soon-to-be-ex husband Kent. They fall back in love instantly. He explains he never acted on any of his "chatting," he just needed someone to "communicate with." Donna promises to do whatever it takes and so does he.
Everyone in the family convenes at a backyard bar-b-que where Donna and Sarah reconcile and realize they're not so different after all.
Scene upon scene Sarah walks through the front door with a different indiscretion, aging slightly each time. To all of which her mother responds with sarcastic criticism. Sarah both equally defies and resents her Mom with bitchy, sometimes comically misspoken, teenage quips.
Donna, Sarah's mom, is never wrong in her own mind, though she'll never admit it, and Sarah takes after her mother completely in this aspect.
The story continues 10 years later. Sarah is fresh out of grad school and looking for work as a psychologist - a major she chose in an effort to make sense of her crazy adolescent life.
Sarah moves in with her reluctant sister DANA, Dana's husband PHIL, and their three sons, JON, BON, and JOVI. Sarah explains that she would have moved in with Dana's twin brother DANA, but he can't be bothered. Sarah's sister Dana agrees to let Sarah stay until she can find work.
Soon thereafter everyone's world is changed when, without warning, Donna, drops her bags on Dana and Phil's front steps. She's had enough of their father, KENT, who Donna married at the startling age of sixteen, and recently caught on some "internet chatting site" and wants a divorce from - she thinks - and is now separated. None of them want her to move in, but they relent, giving in to her. Donna states quite simply, "If he wants to fuck around, let the FUCKING AROUND BEGIN!"
Donna needs help moving on with her life. Sarah, jobless and dateless, tries to boost her mom's self-esteem.
Inexperienced with the world of dating, Donna starts operating with the hell-bent, whisky-bound, teenage mentality and angst she rallied so hard against when she raised Sarah.
Now, it's mom acting the part of a teenager and it’s Sarah who finds great solace in responding with her own sarcastic criticism. Donna both equally defies and resents Sarah.
And so Donna embarks on her quest to "FUCK AROUND!" Newly convinced by her marital mishap that her life has to change, Donna strives for the life she never had as a woman that got married right of high school and was quickly impregnated.
Looking to hearken back to the good old days, Donna goes on a dating RAMPAGE. Seeking the glory and glamour of the teenage life she never had, she, and her cougar-ish sidekick WET BETSY hit the dating scene.
Clubbing, dancing, and nights of drunken abandon commence.
Along with her interest in reclaiming her lost youth, Donna also decides to do a little self-improvement, i.e. tanning, a daring new hairstyle, youthful clothing that is way too tight, a gym membership, and even a drunken night that includes a supposedly trendy tattoo; a giant tramp-stamp of a cougar with Japanese characters.
After a night of too many slippery nipples and blow job shots, Donna drunkenly decides to sneak a twenty-something dude she picked up at the night club home. Long story short, Dana’s family’s dog, Snickerdoodle, the Labra-poodle, poops out a condom in front of Dana’s kids the following morning.
Donna now decides to try dating men her own age.
Sarah gets a very promising, secretive, and lucrative psychology-related job opportunity and moves out and away from her family...
As a last resort, Donna - now depressed and feeling like no man wants her - resorts to the last bastion, internet dating, the supposed foe that ruined her marriage.
Enlisting herself on a number of different websites, Donna continues to date men who are wrong for her. She signs up for www.MEET-MEAT.com and she thinks she hits the jackpot. This particular website is actually for gay men, run by her son Dana, girl-Dana's twin.
After accidentally dating her own son, Dana - both using pseudonyms, they come to the realization of who they each are. Dana is gay, Donna reconciles and decides enough is enough.
In a last ditch effort Donna signs herself up for the most expensive of dating databases, www.100%BLINDDATEMATCH.com. The website includes a one-on-one interview in which she has to truly admit what she wants to an examiner behind a 2-way mirror.
Donna is told she has an UNPRECEDENTED match of 99%. The person she meets with to receive the news is Sarah. This was the job she got and to both their surprises, they bond because of it.
Donna decides to take a chance. It turns out, her 99% match, is her soon-to-be-ex husband Kent. They fall back in love instantly. He explains he never acted on any of his "chatting," he just needed someone to "communicate with." Donna promises to do whatever it takes and so does he.
Everyone in the family convenes at a backyard bar-b-que where Donna and Sarah reconcile and realize they're not so different after all.
Comments (31)
Jeff Poplaski I would agree that it does follow a Judd Apatow style movie but with that said I think it takes on a different scenario, which is funny. I (more often than I would like to) see 40-something old women wearing very revealing clothing and goin out to bars tryin to pick up 20-something men. To me that is hillarious...i will sometimes be that guy hitting on the old ladies. i think there is potential with this script. the dialogue could be developed a bit more but i def think you are on the right track. I would suggest toning down the raunchy-ness but keep the awkward situations. go for a more witty approach in developing the dialogue. i'd def be interested in seeing this developed further. I hope my input helps...
March 11, 2010Don Saparina I would definitely have to agree with Mr. Mckenzie's statement below. As a writer, those were things that I learned to be, not only being space consuming, but wholly unnecessary. Sorry, to have to write a review that solely reiterates what has already been said, but it is(in my mind) a very important factor when writing scripts. My only other critiques would have to be the dialogue seemed to be trying too hard to be vulgar for no reason(e.g. "I only CUM here..." kinda dull), except maybe trying to tackle the whole "40 Year-old Virgin" crowd(which this story seems strikingly similar to), but that might might not help in the way of originality.
March 10, 2010-Don
J. Alex Boyd When your script has the same level of humor as a porno spam ad, you've got yourself a problem.
March 10, 2010James & Patrice Lewis J. Alex, please stop commenting on everyone else's comments. Thanks.
March 10, 2010James & Patrice Lewis Thanks for the review Don. Yes, the wet Betsy part is overly vulgar, but that's her character. Thank you for your professional input. We hope to see your work someday as well.
March 10, 2010Josh McKenzie While the story wasn't overly funny(or fresh) to me, my main problem lies within the writing itself. I feel that it isn't necessary to have a line referring to someone screaming, burping or being drunk in the action description and then actually spelling out the actual yell(Ahhhh!), burp(Bbbrr-yup) or drunken slurs(Shhh... uhm.... uh....B....)... I think it's insinuated at that point. It's a bit distracting too. It's just my opinion, but I think that they're valid points. Especially for someone that's a novice writer. That kind of stuff might be able to be pulled off by someone more established within the industry, but even then I don't agree with it. Just some thoughts.
March 9, 2010James & Patrice Lewis Josh,
March 10, 2010Thank you for your review and input. 48TEEN, at this stage is a script that is purposely designed to be developed. We appreciate your opinions.
Mei-ling Mee This wasnt very funny and the dialogue was all over the place and didnt make much sense. Sorry but I didnt really like it.
March 9, 2010James & Patrice Lewis Thanks for reading!
March 10, 2010Kase T. Gunn I know this woman well -- she gave birth to me -- so this is a concept I find very intriguing. Lots of potential here for comedy. I like the idea.
March 9, 2010Ryan Schafer sorry to sound like an over bearing prick but i thought the story lacked quite a bit of substance. no judgments to the writers, but this story was... lacking an element that production companies look for if you want your film to make it to the box office. that being said, it almost felt like there were elements taken from ones' real life and added to the story that would throw off the intended comedy element. my suggestion is to re-write and cut out the extremes. but its your movie. sorry for being harsh.
March 9, 2010James & Patrice Lewis Thanks for the read Ryan, and we appreciate your comments. We would like to know which element it lacked that production companies look for to get it in the box office, that's the point right! Thanks again, we value everyone's input!
March 10, 2010Comment buried. Click to view
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George Vasquez i giggled a bit but didnt amaze me
March 9, 2010James & Patrice Lewis Thank you for an honest response! What would you have liked to see more/less of?
March 9, 2010The Bad Luck Gal! You have no luck! Sorry!
March 8, 2010James & Patrice Lewis You gave everyone you reviewed the same feedback? 'C-mon, how about a little constructive criticism.
March 9, 2010