- Type
- Music Video
Change Your Life, Sister To Wife - Completed
A young financier trying to run with the rich crowd is inspired by a sister to repent, start a charity and reconnect with his family and himself.
Other Projects (2)
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Change Your Life - Draft Version
A young man lost in a materialistic lifestyle is reminded of his supportive family by a sister who inspires him to change his life and reconnect with the world.
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Change Your Life, Sister To Wife
A young man lost in a materialistic lifestyle remembers his family and is inspired to reconnect with the world by a mysterious woman.
INTRO
Rudi, a well-dressed young man, is seated at a large, round table at an upscale restaurant, looking tired and lost. Ambient noise of a raucous scene can be heard, and then fades.
POOR BOY
Rotate around the table to see Rudi's friends laughing, eating and drinking. An attractive blonde pauses to answer her cell phone with an over-ear headset. Continue to pan around the table to the rest of the party, settling back on Rudi who forces a smile and enters the conversation.
THE PAGE TURNED
The entourage barrels out the door into the night and turns down the lighted sidewalk, running past bars and clubs with Rudi in tow. A light rain begins to fall as they enter a coffee bar, "The Bohemian."
YOUR SISTER CAME DOWN
Rudi picks up a glass of wine at the counter and turns to see Mimi standing nearby with a mug of coffee. They look at each other in surprise with big smiles. They instinctively walk up to each other and warmly greet. Mimi motions Rudi to join her in a private booth.
SOLD OUT
They sit down and Rudi tries to charm her with his money and prestige, but she isn't buying it. She gently, but directly begins to lecture him. Astonished, he looks down in apprehension. She pulls out a photograph and shows it to Rudi as she explains that she and his family will always be loyal to him.
DON'T FORGET
Rudi looks at a happy portrait of his parents, him and Mimi, and rolls his eyes. She implores him to keep it, and then leaves concerned and disappointed. Immersed in thought, his expression changes an acknowledgement of fond recollection.
DROWNING
Rudi walks down the street in the morning with a crowd of professionally-dressed people on their way to work downtown. Many appear disinterested and labored. Some look snobby and rich. Rudi looks longingly at a sports car, and then loses interest.
LOCKED UP
In his small office, Rudi concentrates intensely on a spreadsheet on his computer monitor. He loses focus, and turns to look at a framed picture on his desk. We see a closeup of the photo Mimi showed Rudi.
BURNED OUT
Rudi confidently gives a presentation with projected slides in a conference room to a variety of mostly older and senior businesspeople. He fields questions and tries to answer them, but does so unsuccessfully.
I NEED YOU, BUT YOU'RE GONE
Rudi rushes back to look at the picture on his desk, but it is not the same as the one Mimi showed him. Mimi is NOT in the photo! It is only of Rudi and his parents, and they wear neutral to unhappy expressions. In horror, Rudi rifles through his rolodex, then scrolls through his cell phone in vain. Shocked and desperate, Rudi quickly leaves the office. He rushes back to the coffee bar at dusk to look for Mimi to no avail.
TAKE ME AWAY WITH YOU
At night, Rudi attends a formal corporate social event, but is alone. Determined and focused, he rushes out as one of his female friends looks disappointed to see him leave. He heads out the door, into the rain, down the street, chasing after a taxi. Rudi gets out of the cab in front of the coffee bar and rushes in.
I WANT YOU BACK
He spots Mimi and smiles. She notices him but tries to ignore him. He puts his thick metal watch down on a table, where it is quickly pilfered. Rudi undoes his tie and drops it on the floor. He tries to speak with Mimi, but she resists. He persists. Mimi finally engages him, and they start laughing and enjoying themselves.
Enthralled with each other, Rudi and Mimi leave the coffee bar holding hands loosely and running out into the rain.
NEW CALLING
Rudi and Mimi are working cheerfully in a shared office. Back out the door to reveal a placard that reads "Jack and Jill Charities."
FAMILY BLISS
A large group of festive people of all ages gather. They ecstatically and audibly interact with each other before posing for a camera. Pause to a still shot, closing in to frame a happy image of parents, Rudi, Mimi and children.
Rudi, a well-dressed young man, is seated at a large, round table at an upscale restaurant, looking tired and lost. Ambient noise of a raucous scene can be heard, and then fades.
POOR BOY
Rotate around the table to see Rudi's friends laughing, eating and drinking. An attractive blonde pauses to answer her cell phone with an over-ear headset. Continue to pan around the table to the rest of the party, settling back on Rudi who forces a smile and enters the conversation.
THE PAGE TURNED
The entourage barrels out the door into the night and turns down the lighted sidewalk, running past bars and clubs with Rudi in tow. A light rain begins to fall as they enter a coffee bar, "The Bohemian."
YOUR SISTER CAME DOWN
Rudi picks up a glass of wine at the counter and turns to see Mimi standing nearby with a mug of coffee. They look at each other in surprise with big smiles. They instinctively walk up to each other and warmly greet. Mimi motions Rudi to join her in a private booth.
SOLD OUT
They sit down and Rudi tries to charm her with his money and prestige, but she isn't buying it. She gently, but directly begins to lecture him. Astonished, he looks down in apprehension. She pulls out a photograph and shows it to Rudi as she explains that she and his family will always be loyal to him.
DON'T FORGET
Rudi looks at a happy portrait of his parents, him and Mimi, and rolls his eyes. She implores him to keep it, and then leaves concerned and disappointed. Immersed in thought, his expression changes an acknowledgement of fond recollection.
DROWNING
Rudi walks down the street in the morning with a crowd of professionally-dressed people on their way to work downtown. Many appear disinterested and labored. Some look snobby and rich. Rudi looks longingly at a sports car, and then loses interest.
LOCKED UP
In his small office, Rudi concentrates intensely on a spreadsheet on his computer monitor. He loses focus, and turns to look at a framed picture on his desk. We see a closeup of the photo Mimi showed Rudi.
BURNED OUT
Rudi confidently gives a presentation with projected slides in a conference room to a variety of mostly older and senior businesspeople. He fields questions and tries to answer them, but does so unsuccessfully.
I NEED YOU, BUT YOU'RE GONE
Rudi rushes back to look at the picture on his desk, but it is not the same as the one Mimi showed him. Mimi is NOT in the photo! It is only of Rudi and his parents, and they wear neutral to unhappy expressions. In horror, Rudi rifles through his rolodex, then scrolls through his cell phone in vain. Shocked and desperate, Rudi quickly leaves the office. He rushes back to the coffee bar at dusk to look for Mimi to no avail.
TAKE ME AWAY WITH YOU
At night, Rudi attends a formal corporate social event, but is alone. Determined and focused, he rushes out as one of his female friends looks disappointed to see him leave. He heads out the door, into the rain, down the street, chasing after a taxi. Rudi gets out of the cab in front of the coffee bar and rushes in.
I WANT YOU BACK
He spots Mimi and smiles. She notices him but tries to ignore him. He puts his thick metal watch down on a table, where it is quickly pilfered. Rudi undoes his tie and drops it on the floor. He tries to speak with Mimi, but she resists. He persists. Mimi finally engages him, and they start laughing and enjoying themselves.
Enthralled with each other, Rudi and Mimi leave the coffee bar holding hands loosely and running out into the rain.
NEW CALLING
Rudi and Mimi are working cheerfully in a shared office. Back out the door to reveal a placard that reads "Jack and Jill Charities."
FAMILY BLISS
A large group of festive people of all ages gather. They ecstatically and audibly interact with each other before posing for a camera. Pause to a still shot, closing in to frame a happy image of parents, Rudi, Mimi and children.
Comments (11)
John Estes Griff,
October 22, 2008Nice work on the breakdown! Don't let it go (your story) whether you are in the finals or not man. You have put in the work. You have a well thought out story and now you have an idea of what it would take to make it. Find a way to film somthing inspired by or similar to it. I personally see the whole thing as a constant learning expeirience. There is only one winner in the end and who knows who it will be. Keep up the great work. And by the way how did you add the text?? I am assuming that is flash?
Griff Matt and Karl: thanks so much for the generous comments. I've been fortunate to have the time in my schedule to work on this contest. The massify community has been nothing but gracious, and I have had the pleasure of connecting and interacting with many to our mutual benefit. It's been very educational for me and a great introduction to the industry.
October 22, 2008I've tried to "connect" with all 170 or so LVD competittion entrants, and now have 100 connections. I've got 8 favorites, which included the two of you even before your recent comments today: not a coincidence!
I've got a new 3-page scene breakdown added to both pitches as suggested by therasoft. Is this fun or what?!? Maybe when the finalists are announced tomorrow I will finally let this thing go...
Karl Shefelman I second that. No one else took the time and thought you
October 22, 2008did in viewing and commenting on so many entries despite
being in competition. You're a good sport as well as good
story teller with no pretention or attitude. Thank you.
Matthew Chilbert Griff, I wanted to say thank you for putting together a great pitch and for being such a supportive and active member of the Massify community. You've taken the time to really go through the individual pitches and you consistently make intelligent and constructive comments. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
October 22, 2008Karl Shefelman hey Griff.
October 20, 2008Sorry to take so long to get to this, been very busy with
work. I enjoyed your pitch and appreciate the nice narrative
arc you created. I also like the honest and unabashed
philosophical and psychological analysis of the story and
your concept. Seems like you have a knack for story telling.
Keep on writing!
Jason@Tree Boards are clear, like the vibe of your treatment.
October 20, 2008John Estes I appreciate the depth at which you explain your pitch and your storyboard. I enjoy the fact that you created a story with a beginning, middle, and end. I believe that is important in the music video world. A lot of empty shots without a continous thread don't hold attention long. I appreciate the fact that there is a character arc here. I am happy that you are getting more involved in film. Keep up the good work. I look forward to hearing more from you.
October 11, 2008Griff Thanks guys, for all the feedback. This is the THE video, THE pitch, THE concept for Don't Forget Sister. You know it, I know it, Lucas knows it! This is the one that will take LVD over the top. Platinum records, sold out large venues, and of course a VMA statue.
October 11, 2008Seriously, thanks to everyone who has given me feedback along the way, and helped me shaped this final version of the pitch. Regardless of the contest, it has been very satisfying to meet the submission requirements and develop a viable concept.
This is my first work in entertainment, and there will be more to follow. And aside from competitions, they will be shot. Thanks also to Massify, Epic/Sony/BMG, and RSA Films for putting together a kick-ass contest that has finally gotten me off my butt from talking about filmmaking, to actual film making. More to come...
Gregg Edwards Way to fully explaing the characters, their problems, their actions and how they change.
October 10, 2008Wolfgang Powerful story beautifully told. Stick figures keep the focus on the story's development and central themes. Subtle references to Puccini's La Boheme add depth and universality to the Rudi-Mimi tale. Especially enjoyed resolution of Rudi's existential angst through escape to freedom via joint undertaking with Mimi in the new non-profit enterprise. Nice job.
October 8, 2008