Change Your Life, Sister To Wife

Griff Thanks unn, Paul and David for the feedback!

I just added a 3-page scene breakdown as suggested by therasoft. It's the last day before finalists are announced, but I'm having too much fun with this!

David Mulholland Nice pitch, Griff. I checked out the finished pitch. I enjoyed the upbeat story that this pitch told. I also appreciate the stick figures. More evidence that you don't need to know how to draw to tell a good story! ;) Great job!

Paul Wallace Griff - great pitch! The story is uplifting and compelling, and the visual direction is captivating. Your focus on narrative is important here - not just the whos and whats of the story, but that you've paid close attention to the meanings behind your characters' actions and emotions.

From your pitch video it's clear that you have a nuanced understanding of the manifest content of the song. There very much is a sublimated desire inherent in the lyrics, where one is unsure if this "sister" is a literal sister, a lover, or just an archetypal female object of desire. I like how your pitch recognizes this, and lets the story play to either interpretation.

Most importantly, I like the uplifting message of your pitch. Well done, good sir.

Bryan Yomjinda Well refined concept. It seems you've put a lot of thought into putting the pitch together. The storyboard is well executed, simple but definitely got the story across well.

Griff Cool, I just figured out how to upload new assets. 3 Pitch videos and a revised treatment. Check it out!

Griff Whoops, I meant:

http://www.massify.com/pitches/changecompleted.

This is the polished version to see!

Griff Thanks everyone for the feedback! I have added 3 videos to:

http://www.massify.com/pitches/changeyourlife

This concept is really coming into being. Too bad I didn't get it all polished in time for this "officially submitted version." Hopefully the treatment and visuals grab folks, even if they don't look at the "completed" version.

But that completed version rocks, and I might even shoot it regardless of the outcome of this contest. Put it up on YouTube as a mashup before the official winning video sees the light of day.

Either way, this band is going to make it on the strength of this great song. It would just be so much sweeter with this story. "And the MTV Music Award for best video goes to..."

Tyler D Lucas Field, the lead singer of LVD, would LOVE this pitch. Especially the completed version you refer to in your comment. The song audio goes great with the storyboard - how did you ever work out the timing?

Thematically, it is consistent with the "Heart Attack" video, focusing on taking action to change your life for the better and finding your soul mate. This is just a straight cinematic story we can all relate to. No need for a band performance (per se), or lip synching - that stuff is mickey mouse music video technique that I am so sick of seeing.

This is a movie. You could do a short or feature based on this concept. And there are no gimmicks here - that is for poseurs, and ultimately doesn't find purchase in an audience. This story respects the audience, and even challenges them a bit with the sister identity angle.

Absolutely incredible. This is a fresh concept that surpasses most of what I see in the imagination-strapped industry.

Rowdy Favoriting Griff's "Change Your Life, Sister To Wife" is the inverse of adverse selection. This one shows clearly a lyrical symmetry that opens the song for us and brings it to life unobtrusively in his interpretation. In pitching, there are fastballs, curveballs, sinkers, and sliders. Then there is the changeup. Well done, let them take a swing at this one.

Lorena I think is a great concept, it will definetely work out because it's a "Organic Product" lol... it's pretty earthy, realistic, warm and it totally CATCHES VISUAL ATTENTION, it's simple but explains everything so crearly and you don't get to see this kind of things anymore (old school) "very-sadly".... so, Congrats and best luck!!!!!