Mike Wech
The idea is great. The execution needs some massaging to grow into a BIG hit. The dialogue has its moments with the guys but its feels written, not spoken with the gypsy. Before Vince tells his friends, it would be funny to see him trying a series of male enhancement products, seeing tv ads about size mattering and wrestling with his problem. More set-ups to really pay off the jokes. Since this is a one-joke premise you really have to milk it. No pun intended.
March 13, 2010
Mike Wech
More commercial titles may include: "Shrinkage," "The Short End" "Shortcomings" "The Stub" "Cocktail Weinies" "Dirty Little Things" "Inching Toward Love" "Millimeter Man "The Curious Curse of Longfellow's Fellow"
Michael Garrison
It's funny but you will be hard pressed to find men secure enough to make it. It's an alpha male business, after all, and jokes about penis size more than an hour long might make half your audience tend to squirm. Of course there's always the Sex in the City demographic.
Aaron Miles
The concept reminds me of Shallow Hal, and I'm sure you can see the similarities. Reading the sample left alot to be desired. Overall, I don't think it's not a weak sample by any means, but I can imagine it would be a tough sell. Overall, the dialogue was good, there was some nice banter between the characters, but I just wasn't feeling the overall vibe. So, in closing, I think the writing is good, but the idea and execution are lacking overall. Best of luck.
Ana Zins
OMG this is one of the best male-driven high-concept ideas I have seen in a very long time. It's potential box office success is right along the lines of, "THE HANGOVER", "WEDDING CRASHERS", and "40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN" This concept has soooo much potential to be developed into a rockin' screenplay. Kudos to a female writer who knocked it out of the park, coming up with a high concept male driven comedy and witty man-boy dialogue. Men love their penises and seeing movies about men obsessed with their penises. I also think that women will also love this witty concept because women will enjoy seeing a womanizer struggle to find love. This concept is a gold mine and has extreme commercial potential. As a female director who has just completed my first self-financed SAG ultra-low-budget feature that happens to be a male driven buddy/romantic comedy, although mine is more on the family friendly side (now in post), I would kill to be able to make this R rated film with Massify & Lionsgate. What changes would I suggest to help position this more competitively? It's hard to say with only being able to read a one page synopsis, but I might think about exploring different narratives in terms of how the protagonist goes about finding true love including who the love interest would be. Again, I would have to read the entire script. But other than that...what a great way to kick off a funny and very universal theme that both men and women will enjoy.
Dana Garrity
I found this to be a somewhat interesting concept. It's different, so that's good. Upon reading the sample, I found it too direct early on and by the end of the sample, I'd actually lost interest. I guess this concept is something I'd rather see in a sketch comedy show during a five minute block rather than a feature film.
Comments (12)
Mike Wech The idea is great. The execution needs some massaging to grow into a BIG hit. The dialogue has its moments with the guys but its feels written, not spoken with the gypsy. Before Vince tells his friends, it would be funny to see him trying a series of male enhancement products, seeing tv ads about size mattering and wrestling with his problem. More set-ups to really pay off the jokes. Since this is a one-joke premise you really have to milk it. No pun intended.
March 13, 2010Mike Wech More commercial titles may include: "Shrinkage," "The Short End" "Shortcomings" "The Stub" "Cocktail Weinies" "Dirty Little Things"
March 13, 2010"Inching Toward Love" "Millimeter Man "The Curious Curse of Longfellow's Fellow"
Tony Delauris Fun
March 9, 2010The Good Luck Guy! GOOD LUCK!
March 8, 2010Sonia Perez Unlike Sable, I am unimpressed. You can see the jokes coming from a hundred miles away.
March 4, 2010Jessica Lawson How many movies in this contest are gonna be about penises? This sounds like a XXX fairy tale.
March 1, 2010Michael Garrison It's funny but you will be hard pressed to find men secure enough to make it. It's an alpha male business, after all, and jokes about penis size more than an hour long might make half your audience tend to squirm. Of course there's always the Sex in the City demographic.
March 1, 2010William Bienes The writing sample is funny, I laughed out loud. This is male driven (pardon the pun) and definitely high-concept. Excellent work.
March 1, 2010Aaron Miles The concept reminds me of Shallow Hal, and I'm sure you can see the similarities. Reading the sample left alot to be desired. Overall, I don't think it's not a weak sample by any means, but I can imagine it would be a tough sell. Overall, the dialogue was good, there was some nice banter between the characters, but I just wasn't feeling the overall vibe. So, in closing, I think the writing is good, but the idea and execution are lacking overall. Best of luck.
February 17, 2010Ana Zins OMG this is one of the best male-driven high-concept ideas I have seen in a very long time. It's potential box office success is right along the lines of, "THE HANGOVER", "WEDDING CRASHERS", and "40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN" This concept has soooo much potential to be developed into a rockin' screenplay. Kudos to a female writer who knocked it out of the park, coming up with a high concept male driven comedy and witty man-boy dialogue. Men love their penises and seeing movies about men obsessed with their penises. I also think that women will also love this witty concept because women will enjoy seeing a womanizer struggle to find love. This concept is a gold mine and has extreme commercial potential. As a female director who has just completed my first self-financed SAG ultra-low-budget feature that happens to be a male driven buddy/romantic comedy, although mine is more on the family friendly side (now in post), I would kill to be able to make this R rated film with Massify & Lionsgate. What changes would I suggest to help position this more competitively? It's hard to say with only being able to read a one page synopsis, but I might think about exploring different narratives in terms of how the protagonist goes about finding true love including who the love interest would be. Again, I would have to read the entire script. But other than that...what a great way to kick off a funny and very universal theme that both men and women will enjoy.
February 17, 2010Dana Garrity I found this to be a somewhat interesting concept. It's different, so that's good. Upon reading the sample, I found it too direct early on and by the end of the sample, I'd actually lost interest. I guess this concept is something I'd rather see in a sketch comedy show during a five minute block rather than a feature film.
February 17, 2010