Jagermeister
Jagermeister is about a magic beer bong. Two friends who have vowed to never marry, and just party, buy an antique wine funnel. Whoever drinks from it, turns in
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Jagermeister is about what happens to two life long best friends who use a magical, 19th century, English, wine funnel, as a beer bong. It has the power of turning one into their worst fear. The two friends are Boughger and Tippi. At twenty-five, they’re two retired Wall Street brokers who hit it big. They’re goal now is to spend the rest of their life; partying, chasing beautiful women, and never getting married. One night at one of their many parties, Tippi takes an enormous Jagermeister shot from their 19th century wine funnel. The next day Tippi wakes up as their ideal woman. Tippi in the form of this woman is gorgeous, a sports fan, and makes no effort to change whatever man she is with. Her looks might be described as Uber Maxim Girl 2010. When Boughger comes home one day she has cooked a bucket of chicken wings, put on a football game, and poured him a beer. When she finds the undergarments of other women all around the loft she says, “if you need other girlfriends that’s okay. I only need you.” Boughger quickly finds himself on the path to breaking his vow of never getting married.
Boughger at first never worries where his best friend has gone off and disappeared to. Boughger assumes that Tippi is just out partying somewhere on a road trip or something. Besides, it is this beautiful woman who he found, sleeping in his best friends bedroom that has all his attention. He assumes she is just someone who stayed over from the party the night before. Tippi trapped in this beautiful woman’s body cannot speak. Every word he utters comes out sounding like the exact thing that Boughger would like his dream woman to say at that moment. Only the audience and Tippi, when he looks in the mirror, can see himself and hear himself; as he really is. In no time Tippi is in the fast lane to marry his best friend. Tippi must relearn how to speak in order to figure out what happened to him before it’s too late, and how to turn back into himself. In order to do this, Tippi must first track down the antique dealer, they bought the wine funnel from, and unravel it’s secret power.
The antique dealer only knows that some English lord’s wife came to him and said, “get rid of this. I’ll pay you to take it.” Various male and female librarians in the musty New York City libraries are only too happy to assist this beautiful woman with gorgeous breasts. Tippi discovers through his research that the history of the wine funnel goes back thousands of years. The silver that the wine funnel is made from, came from a magical shield that was used to protect barbarians from the Roman legions. For the past few thousand years it has been in the hands of an English family, known as the Bellingtons. They never understood what they had been passing down for nearly two thousand years. The Bellingtons family had learned to live with their long history of what they came to view as bad luck. The Bellingtons didn’t understand why there were always cross dressers, sodomites (as various Bellingtons described their own family members), and family members turning into dragons in every generation.
Unfortunately for everyone that enters Tippi and Boughger apartment, Boughger makes everyone take a drink from the magic funnel. The greater the alcohol content, the greater the change, which is explains why Tippi has been completely transformed (in the middle of their biggest party he downed four Jagermeister shots in one gulp). Boughger’s Republican parents are turned into liberals who run out and begin supporting gay marriage. Their liberal peace loving neighbors are turned into republicans who begin insisting that the United States invade every and any country. The owners of a vegan restaurant below are turned into carnivores. Their local pot dealer is turned into a DEA informant. Immigrant workers and teenagers, who deliver groceries, and take-out, to their apartment are turned into a variety of various; monsters, vampires, and even one poor Thai fellow is turned into Big Foot. The only ones happy at all this change are the various regular guys in this New York City neighborhood, who are suddenly the objects of desire for all of the models who have come to the parties at the loft. The atmosphere in this East Village neighborhood where the loft is located becomes chaotic for a few weeks with the energy and confusion one might expect from something like a musical Zombie movie.
After a beautiful large wedding, but right before the wedding night, Tippi is able to transform back into himself when he tracks down an ancient text that explains the trick of turning back into one’s self. One must simply face their worst fear head on, and then they become themselves again. Boughger claims no memory of anything. Instead, having now faced their worst fears, the two vow to party on.
Boughger at first never worries where his best friend has gone off and disappeared to. Boughger assumes that Tippi is just out partying somewhere on a road trip or something. Besides, it is this beautiful woman who he found, sleeping in his best friends bedroom that has all his attention. He assumes she is just someone who stayed over from the party the night before. Tippi trapped in this beautiful woman’s body cannot speak. Every word he utters comes out sounding like the exact thing that Boughger would like his dream woman to say at that moment. Only the audience and Tippi, when he looks in the mirror, can see himself and hear himself; as he really is. In no time Tippi is in the fast lane to marry his best friend. Tippi must relearn how to speak in order to figure out what happened to him before it’s too late, and how to turn back into himself. In order to do this, Tippi must first track down the antique dealer, they bought the wine funnel from, and unravel it’s secret power.
The antique dealer only knows that some English lord’s wife came to him and said, “get rid of this. I’ll pay you to take it.” Various male and female librarians in the musty New York City libraries are only too happy to assist this beautiful woman with gorgeous breasts. Tippi discovers through his research that the history of the wine funnel goes back thousands of years. The silver that the wine funnel is made from, came from a magical shield that was used to protect barbarians from the Roman legions. For the past few thousand years it has been in the hands of an English family, known as the Bellingtons. They never understood what they had been passing down for nearly two thousand years. The Bellingtons family had learned to live with their long history of what they came to view as bad luck. The Bellingtons didn’t understand why there were always cross dressers, sodomites (as various Bellingtons described their own family members), and family members turning into dragons in every generation.
Unfortunately for everyone that enters Tippi and Boughger apartment, Boughger makes everyone take a drink from the magic funnel. The greater the alcohol content, the greater the change, which is explains why Tippi has been completely transformed (in the middle of their biggest party he downed four Jagermeister shots in one gulp). Boughger’s Republican parents are turned into liberals who run out and begin supporting gay marriage. Their liberal peace loving neighbors are turned into republicans who begin insisting that the United States invade every and any country. The owners of a vegan restaurant below are turned into carnivores. Their local pot dealer is turned into a DEA informant. Immigrant workers and teenagers, who deliver groceries, and take-out, to their apartment are turned into a variety of various; monsters, vampires, and even one poor Thai fellow is turned into Big Foot. The only ones happy at all this change are the various regular guys in this New York City neighborhood, who are suddenly the objects of desire for all of the models who have come to the parties at the loft. The atmosphere in this East Village neighborhood where the loft is located becomes chaotic for a few weeks with the energy and confusion one might expect from something like a musical Zombie movie.
After a beautiful large wedding, but right before the wedding night, Tippi is able to transform back into himself when he tracks down an ancient text that explains the trick of turning back into one’s self. One must simply face their worst fear head on, and then they become themselves again. Boughger claims no memory of anything. Instead, having now faced their worst fears, the two vow to party on.
Comments (25)
Hector Ramos First off, it sounds like it would be a pretty funny movie to watch. It left me curious, and wanting to read more.
May 21, 2010As far as a pitch is concerned... I too agree with Louis. Definately tighten up the synopsis.
Good Luck!
Christopher Joseph I'm digging it - while it wasn't a funny portion of the story it was definite a good setup that I'm sure is going to lead to some insane hi jinks - was very intelligently described in detail - the storyline must have took a while to come up with - I'm thinking it began w/a thought of a magic vial lol then the rest developed from there. Has intrigue and good pacing - wanting to see what becomes next! Keeps you in suspense!
March 16, 2010I do agree w/ louis to tighten up the Synopsis and Logline - it didn't really give you a good idea of what to expect but all together - I want to see the movie! Good luck!
Randy Gordon-Gatica The heart of your response gives me inspiration, thanks man.
March 17, 2010Louis Palma Very clever idea Randy. I'd work to tighten up your Synopsis some. Quick and to the point. I like the whole reap what you sow blow back that your characters find themselves in.
March 16, 2010The 5 pages you've submitted don't seem to deliver. I'd suggest submitting something with a nice sampling of your comedic talent. Let loose some dialogue so we can get an idea of who these characters are and the beat of your story.
Best of luck to you. I think you have a clever idea worth spending time on.
Randy Gordon-Gatica I think you're probably right. On the first draft I just try to find the story and the humor increases once that spine is down. Thanks again.
March 17, 2010Chaim Zeitz Interesting, a grammatical error I believe on the 4th page, but over all it seems to be interesting.
March 14, 2010Hit me up when you more done.
If you wouldn't mind looking at my screenplay "The Green Mensch" that would be cool.
Randy Gordon-Gatica It's a deal.
March 14, 2010Allen Williams This is definitely an original idea which lends itself to an absurd world where anything is (obviously) possible. I don't think the bit about being rich investors is really necessary, and actually this could be funnier if maybe the two characters were just regular, middle-income slobs. My favorite part about what I see here is the back story of the beer bong. The more solidified that story is (as crazy as it may be) will greatly impact how the rest of the movie is accepted. Right now it seems absurd, sure, but also a bit too loose. I think if the situation were tightened up and focused on just the two guys (instead of seeing how it affects everyone) that might be better. Perhaps there's a certain type of alcohol that affects you when you use the beer bong, or because the moon is out or something like that.
March 12, 2010Randy Gordon-Gatica You could be right about middle incomes dudes, revisions will tell. Anything that gets people in a coversation about what will work in a beer bong, pleases me.
March 12, 2010Mike Wech You definitely went outside the box and I like that a lot. Although all of the plot points don't tie in perfectly, the idea has enormous potential for some outrageous comedy. It's a "Pick of Destiny" type vehicle that has it's market place. I love the fact that the fantasy life becomes a nightmare, literally and there is a place for some great social satire, with the "stimulus" references and Wall Street. You are on to something, I'd keep refining it no matter what happens here. Best of Luck
March 11, 2010Randy Gordon-Gatica I think your right but also I want to maintain a level a comedy at all costs. Funny, Funny, Funny, is the goal. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure to the 10th Power is the goal. Even that lower budget kinda feel is cool.
March 12, 2010Annette Lorant I think the concept is very original, and like the way you deal with characters from the present going to a made up world to solve their problem or fears, what will they really become after their transformation and lessons learn, how they would act differently in their life, I would love to see
March 11, 2010Randy Gordon-Gatica "love to see," is a great response, thanks.
March 11, 2010Mick Miles Randy, I think your core concept - people being turned into what they fear most and then having to deal with that fear in order to return to normality - has a lot of potential. In fact, it could result in some very funny scenes.
March 10, 2010With that in mind, for your scene pages I wish you had chosen something that was more than setup - allowing the reader to get a better feel for how the two main characters interact, in addition to something that humorously highlights your inherently comedic concept. Instead, your pages reveal that the characters endeavor to do nothing but party, how they can afford to do nothing but party, and lastly, a scene leading up to the inciting incident.
I do however, understand why it's tempting to pick the opening scenes, especially if your story is linear, and difficult to snatch scenes from the middle of a screenplay that may not exist...
From your synopsis I get the sense that the characters have no arc, which is interesting since facing your greatest fear and surviving - an implied story/character arc - would, by implication, also be transformative. Perhaps it was your intention to subvert the standard narrative character trajectory... which could be funny, but also very tricky to pull off.
Nevertheless, as I mentioned, your core concept has a lot of potential but it hinges on execution. I would be interested to see where you go with this and how it all turns out.
Best of luck to you on this, and future endeavors!
Randy Gordon-Gatica I love to subvert everything and anything. So perhaps we are getting Kool Aid from the same bodega.
March 11, 2010Jacoub Marley mmm, okay... So a beer bong changes people into their exact opposites? What does Jaeger have to do with a beer bong?
March 9, 2010Randy Gordon-Gatica Easy. The main character takes a giant energy drink Jager combo and that results in the most drastic change of any of the characters.
March 9, 2010J. Alex Boyd I thought it wasn't bad, and I like the concept, it's just...I never thought I would be able to find a script that reminded me so much of "Evil Bong", starring Tommy Chong. Though this is obviously a different, better concept.
March 9, 2010Randy Gordon-Gatica I'd be thrilled to be in the company of Tommy Chong even without Cheech. I hear what you're though. Thanks,
March 9, 2010Randy Gordon-Gatica I mean I hear what you're saying.
March 9, 2010