On Father's Day
A single swinging Special Events Executive has a life-changing event when he learns that he has a 14-year-old daughter via Facebook.
Mike Yaske is a 35-year-old Los Angeles based high-end party planner who coordinates special events for fortune 500 companies. He is still a kid at heart and a wild free spirit who likes to have fun. He is also selfish and has commitment issues.
A few weeks before moving to Monaco to take his dream job as the Entertainment Director at a new luxury Hotel, Mike receives a friend invite via facebook from Taylor Mitchum, whom he had a two-week spring fling during his college days in New Orleans.
One day while looking through Taylor’s photo’s Mike notices baby pictures of her 14-year-old daughter Tanya, who to his astonishment looks exactly like him when he was the same age.
After much anxiety and “doing the math” Mike works up the nerve to ask Taylor if in fact Tanya is his daughter. After days of no response, on Father's Day, Taylor reluctantly instant messages Mike notifying him that he is in fact Tanya’s father and wishes him a happy father's day.
Mike is bombarded with mixed feelings as he tries to make sense of what this means to him and his lifestyle. His first thought is to give Taylor her wish and stay out of Tanya’s life, but Tanya is a very resourceful and manipulative girl and she calls Mike herself and tells him of the physical and verbal abuse she and her mother endures at the hands of her alcoholic step-father Hank.
Mike decides to decline the job offer in Monaco and move his daughter in with him with the tentative blessings of Taylor who is battling her own addiction to prescription pills. He decides L.A. is not the place to raise a young girl and decides to do the last thing in the world he wanted to do: move in with his mother and stepfather in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Mike goes from living the perfect bachelor life in L.A. to moving to Milwaukee and working for his stepfather’s plumbing business to help support his smart, rebellious, 14-year-old daughter. He goes from staring at the racks of some of the most beautiful women in the world, to staring at the crack of his cantankerous and loquacious stepfather Al in lovely Milwaukee while fixing leaky toilets and sinks.
Through all the chaos and obstacles Mike is determined grow up and be a responsible father to his newly found daughter while changing his predatory and womanizing ways. Based on a true story.
A few weeks before moving to Monaco to take his dream job as the Entertainment Director at a new luxury Hotel, Mike receives a friend invite via facebook from Taylor Mitchum, whom he had a two-week spring fling during his college days in New Orleans.
One day while looking through Taylor’s photo’s Mike notices baby pictures of her 14-year-old daughter Tanya, who to his astonishment looks exactly like him when he was the same age.
After much anxiety and “doing the math” Mike works up the nerve to ask Taylor if in fact Tanya is his daughter. After days of no response, on Father's Day, Taylor reluctantly instant messages Mike notifying him that he is in fact Tanya’s father and wishes him a happy father's day.
Mike is bombarded with mixed feelings as he tries to make sense of what this means to him and his lifestyle. His first thought is to give Taylor her wish and stay out of Tanya’s life, but Tanya is a very resourceful and manipulative girl and she calls Mike herself and tells him of the physical and verbal abuse she and her mother endures at the hands of her alcoholic step-father Hank.
Mike decides to decline the job offer in Monaco and move his daughter in with him with the tentative blessings of Taylor who is battling her own addiction to prescription pills. He decides L.A. is not the place to raise a young girl and decides to do the last thing in the world he wanted to do: move in with his mother and stepfather in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Mike goes from living the perfect bachelor life in L.A. to moving to Milwaukee and working for his stepfather’s plumbing business to help support his smart, rebellious, 14-year-old daughter. He goes from staring at the racks of some of the most beautiful women in the world, to staring at the crack of his cantankerous and loquacious stepfather Al in lovely Milwaukee while fixing leaky toilets and sinks.
Through all the chaos and obstacles Mike is determined grow up and be a responsible father to his newly found daughter while changing his predatory and womanizing ways. Based on a true story.
Comments (3)
Wesley Brand Steve's a angry old sod with a goofy hat and no patience for stuff that isn't a 'NAM FLICK! (Registered Trademark)
March 3, 2010And judging by his other comments, he gets hung up on the weirdest things.
Seriously, who cares about the Michael Jordan shrug? Consequently I think I know what that means...anyway.
I like it. I like the pep and the back and forth of Mike and Tony. I want to know where this goes.
I don't know thing one about pages 7+ so what I'm going to say might actually be part of it, but get back to Wisconsin as fast as possible. I'm going to presume you do since we're 6 pages in and know about the girl. With the title, I'm thinking the majority of this is going to be about the relationship between Mike and his daughter, so get to them as quick as you can and really strengthen that bond. I'd say build your central conflict with them instead of with the mom, but this isn't my project so what do I know?
You've got dialogue wrapped up, sir. This, despite Warry McPost-Traumatic says, is a STRONG start. Keep up the good work!
Terence Rosemore Thanks for the kind words Mr. Brand. You are pretty much on point in your assessments. Early in the process Im think what writers need most is the pats on the back to keep trudging forward.
March 5, 2010Christian Badami My favorite part about the Massify community process is when it serves to lift people up in their creative aspirations, sort of like what would happen in a writing class when a writer bravely puts his fledgling idea out there for others to see.
March 3, 2010The best instructors I've ever had were honest and constructive, but never meanspirited. I rarely ever heard an instructor or fellow student in-person, face-to-face, level shots which would discourage the aspiring artist from continuing on their path.
Well, Massify is a little different, it occupies a gray area between education, development and production. It can be much more harsh than a classroom in its community reaction, and sometimes thats OK. But I know the feeling well... that experience of stepping into the fray, putting your idea out there in this unique public experiment, and eagerly awaiting your first unbiased review, whether it be glowing or constructive. Sometimes its neither, sometimes it can hurt.
My god, you've put something out here that is clearly personal. And I think you DO have some sense of what it takes to write for movies, you are at least clearly interested in trying. You have here a character basis that could form the foundation or a subplot/layer to other levels to build a great story. So I say keep working, rewriting, molding the concept, structure and motives... and stay optimistic and positive that YES, YOU CAN DO THIS.
Are the five pages a bit chauvinistic? Of course. But you could easily temper this by making Tony and Mike more different than similar. What if everytime one guy said something crass and disrespectful like "you're screwing your twin sister," the other guy responded with a cringe and a comment like "man, you shouldn't talk about women like that." Something to consider, after all, women will form a large portion of your audience.
Best of luck to you as you pursue the craft.
Terence Rosemore Thank you sir. You also are on point. At a certain point we will see the difference in Tony and Mike. Great observations.
March 5, 2010Steven Kahler How does Michael Jordan shrug his shoulder?
March 3, 2010When you write screenplays you leave the Directing to the Directors---which is the least of the problems with this trash.
This writer has no sense of what it takes to write for the movies. (or how to write in a manner that respects women.)
This deserves a 1/10 of a star it it's lucky. Give me a break.
Wesley Brand You are going to mention what's WRONG with these pitches at some point right?
March 3, 2010I mean besides one stage direction among 6 pages?
Contrary to your 2 IMDB entries, where you inexplicably give yourself the credit of "HE WHO DOTH MOVE WITHOUT SIN", you're not the end all be all of what it takes to write for movies. (This is based specifically off my knowledge from your tagline for CLICK.) So stop being a dick that gets hung up on minutia and attempt CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM for once. Like Christian said, it's why you should be here.
Listen, man the war is over. Charlie bested us. It's time to let go. It's time...to HEAL.
C'mere! Give us a hug, you MOUNTAIN of rage!