Pizza Traffic School
A struggling comedian who works at a traffic school plots his revenge against the comic who ruined his career.
Other Projects (1)
-
Orange Peel
After his mother dies, a man who has been home-schooled and sheltered from society his entire life is forced to make his way in the world.
"Pizza Traffic School" is a high concept comedy that follows the exploits of a struggling comedian, Ricky Bitterman.
After his career is derailed by a heckling midget in his audience, Ricky is forced to work at a low-end traffic, school telling jokes to a cross section of Los Angeles’ worst drivers. Amber, his unemployed girlfriend, constantly reminds him that he’s a loser. The only bright spot in his life is Maya, an attractive aerobics instructor who works at a gym next door to the traffic school. The attraction between Ricky and Maya is mutual, but they remain faithful to their significant others.
Things get worse for Ricky when the DMV closes down his traffic school. His boss, a Russian emigrant in his 50’s with porn star aspirations, tells him they have one more class before they close. Ricky applies for work at the prestigious Comedy Traffic School across the street. Once again he is derailed by the same heckling midget, who has since become a successful comedian and taken the stage name Nitro G.
To add insult to injury, Ricky learns that Amber is leaving him for Nitro G. This is too much for Ricky to take and he drowns his misery in alcohol. By the time he teaches his last class, he is a broken man. With the help of several of his students, which includes Vic, a restaurant owner with mob ties, Ricky gets the nerve to confront Nitro G.
With Vic and several other students at his side, Ricky shows up at a comedy club to heckle Nitro G. As it turns out, Ricky is no match for the midget comedian and he quickly leaves the stage humiliated. Ricky retreats to the men’s room to lick his wounds. Meanwhile, Maya shows up at the club with her boyfriend. When Ricky returns for the final showdown, Maya is there to witness the battle. Ricky wins the crowd over as he attacks Nitro G with an onslaught of insults. The crowd chants Ricky’s name as Nitro G leaves the stage in disgrace. Maya and her boyfriend get into a fight and break up. Outside the club, Ricky blows off Amber’s attempts to get back together. He and Maya share a cab. Free of their bad relationships, they kiss for the first time.
Ricky gets a full time gig telling jokes at Vic’s restaurant. Maya, Vic, and other students from the last class are in the audience to show their support. Outside a long line waits to get into the sold out show. Ricky Bitterman, the comedian with a once promising career, is back on track.
After his career is derailed by a heckling midget in his audience, Ricky is forced to work at a low-end traffic, school telling jokes to a cross section of Los Angeles’ worst drivers. Amber, his unemployed girlfriend, constantly reminds him that he’s a loser. The only bright spot in his life is Maya, an attractive aerobics instructor who works at a gym next door to the traffic school. The attraction between Ricky and Maya is mutual, but they remain faithful to their significant others.
Things get worse for Ricky when the DMV closes down his traffic school. His boss, a Russian emigrant in his 50’s with porn star aspirations, tells him they have one more class before they close. Ricky applies for work at the prestigious Comedy Traffic School across the street. Once again he is derailed by the same heckling midget, who has since become a successful comedian and taken the stage name Nitro G.
To add insult to injury, Ricky learns that Amber is leaving him for Nitro G. This is too much for Ricky to take and he drowns his misery in alcohol. By the time he teaches his last class, he is a broken man. With the help of several of his students, which includes Vic, a restaurant owner with mob ties, Ricky gets the nerve to confront Nitro G.
With Vic and several other students at his side, Ricky shows up at a comedy club to heckle Nitro G. As it turns out, Ricky is no match for the midget comedian and he quickly leaves the stage humiliated. Ricky retreats to the men’s room to lick his wounds. Meanwhile, Maya shows up at the club with her boyfriend. When Ricky returns for the final showdown, Maya is there to witness the battle. Ricky wins the crowd over as he attacks Nitro G with an onslaught of insults. The crowd chants Ricky’s name as Nitro G leaves the stage in disgrace. Maya and her boyfriend get into a fight and break up. Outside the club, Ricky blows off Amber’s attempts to get back together. He and Maya share a cab. Free of their bad relationships, they kiss for the first time.
Ricky gets a full time gig telling jokes at Vic’s restaurant. Maya, Vic, and other students from the last class are in the audience to show their support. Outside a long line waits to get into the sold out show. Ricky Bitterman, the comedian with a once promising career, is back on track.
Comments (4)
J. Alex Boyd I will break my staunch beliefs in fairness, create a fake profile, and give you five stars, completely eradicating my previous efforts to keep this website free of people who would vote up their script unfairly, if you can answer me this one question:
March 16, 2010Why is it PIZZA traffic school?
Seriously, I read this three times and can't figure it out. Comedy traffic school, yeah. But PIZZA traffic school?
Anyways, I think the idea needs a lot of work. You have it fleshed out here, but it lacks substance, and it doesn't sound very funny. I do like the stand up joke he delivers, it was kinda funny and I hadn't heard it before. But other than that? I don't see myself laughing at this too hard.
Lee Karaim Thanks for giving me the opportunity for a fake 5 star review, as it will be the first 5 star review and beggars can't be choosers. As you're not the first to complain about the title, maybe the title sucks, I don't know, it's possible. If the film was ever made, the odds are, they would change the title anyway. But the reason I called it Pizza Traffic School, is because I saw an advertisement for an actual Pizza Traffic School and I thought it sounded ridiculous. And in the script, the main character works at a place called Pizza Traffic School and their rival is Comedy Traffic School. So there you have it. I guess the hardest selling point of this script is the fact that it's a comedy about a bad comic -- will people laugh at an obviously bad comic?
March 16, 2010Heather Smith I like your other pitch slightly better, but this one might actually have more mainstream appeal. I actually took a Traffic School class where they served pizza and the teacher told bad jokes -- maybe you took the same class and that's where you got the idea for this script. I think this idea has a lot of potential, good luck with it.
March 16, 2010Eric Larson The script sample made me laugh. I can see how this could be a funny film. Kind of reminds me of those ensemble comedies of old, like Animal House, Caddy Shack, etc. Good timing, as I think they might be coming back with movies like Old School, Waiting, etc.
March 15, 2010Kemuel Butler funny stuff... but unless you're directing the film, you really didn't need to write 'Full Shot"
February 23, 2010