Pseudo Security
Doug, a selfish slob, fools bank owner Andrew, into hiring him as a bodyguard, even though there's no real danger. That is, until Andrew goes looking for some.
DOUG WORMWOOD is an uninspired, uncaring, lazy slob who devises a plan to convince a wealthy person that they need a bodyguard (when, actually, they’re in no real danger), by sending them anonymous, threatening letters, throwing rocks through their windows, and various other scare tactics. He then sets out to find the perfect mark; the meek, timid bank owner, ANDREW POWELL. Andrew, a borderline agoraphobe, suddenly finds himself the victim of late night phone calls and relentless harassment. He’s at his wits end, when Doug Wormwood arrives at his door, offering his services as a bodyguard-for-hire. Andrew accepts when Doug tells him that this looks like the work of the Russian mob.
Doug finds his new living arrangements exactly to his liking. He enjoys the high life, while fending off invisible threats and made-up assassins to keep Andrew sufficiently scared for his life. But, soon, Doug’s proficiency as a fake bodyguard turns on him when Andrew feels a newfound sense of security. He ventures out into the world to confront those who once pushed him around, leaving Doug to suffer the brunt of the retaliation. Doug is then horrified when Andrew says that he now wants to get even with the Russian mob.
So, Doug must follow Andrew as he meets with the local Russian mob, and convinces the bickering leaders, VLAD & JOSEPH BOSKOV, to rob his bank so that he can claim the insurance money. But when the Russian henchmen enter the bank vault, Andrew triggers a lockdown and distress call, trapping the men inside. Wanting revenge, Vlad & Joseph send their men after Andrew.
Afraid of being killed, Doug wants to leave, so he admits his whole scheme to Andrew, who is enraged that Doug would allow things to get so out of hand. Knowing it’s his fault, Doug decides to stick around to help find a solution, which turns out to be an attack against the rival Irish mob, leaving behind evidence to point to the Russians, hoping to draw them into a mob war and distract them from the chase. The plan works, and the mob war begins.
Thinking it’s all over, the two let their guard down and are promptly captured by the Russians, who would be glad to kill them, if not for the fact that they present their only way to end the war. Having gained some good will with the Irish mob by betraying the Russians before, Andrew & Doug are forced to join them as spies to kill the leader, RYAN SINCLAIR. Ryan, a tough but reasonable man, welcomes them warmly. Andrew & Doug find it difficult to kill Ryan with the heightened security due to the war.
After a few comically poor attempts, the two are caught by a mobster named JIMMY, who tells them he won’t turn them in because he also wants to see the Irish mob fall. Jimmy only joined to support his family, but they now won’t let him leave. The three devise a plan; turn Vlad & Joseph against each other, starting an internal war, and leaving them crippled. Then the Irish mob will finish off the Russians and then, with no competition, security will relax, and they will be able to kill Ryan.
Andrew & Doug return to the Russians. They spread rumors and plant evidence of both brothers betrayal against the other, causing them to turn on one another. Doug & Andrew signal Jimmy that the internal fighting has begun, and Jimmy tells Ryan to attack the Russians. Ryan and his mob are victorious, but, Ryan expresses doubt about the attack that started the war. He points to Jimmy, saying he wanted to leave all along and that he must have started the mob war by planting ‘suspicious evidence’ at the scene of the first attack. Ryan asks if anyone saw Jimmy do it. Doug raises his hand. Jimmy is shot.
In the end, Doug & Andrew decide to stay with the Irish mob. Andrew allows them to use his bank as their personal tax haven and in return receives mob protection; finally getting the security he was promised. And Doug, becoming the mob’s new debt collector, enjoys a life of privilege with minimal work.
Doug finds his new living arrangements exactly to his liking. He enjoys the high life, while fending off invisible threats and made-up assassins to keep Andrew sufficiently scared for his life. But, soon, Doug’s proficiency as a fake bodyguard turns on him when Andrew feels a newfound sense of security. He ventures out into the world to confront those who once pushed him around, leaving Doug to suffer the brunt of the retaliation. Doug is then horrified when Andrew says that he now wants to get even with the Russian mob.
So, Doug must follow Andrew as he meets with the local Russian mob, and convinces the bickering leaders, VLAD & JOSEPH BOSKOV, to rob his bank so that he can claim the insurance money. But when the Russian henchmen enter the bank vault, Andrew triggers a lockdown and distress call, trapping the men inside. Wanting revenge, Vlad & Joseph send their men after Andrew.
Afraid of being killed, Doug wants to leave, so he admits his whole scheme to Andrew, who is enraged that Doug would allow things to get so out of hand. Knowing it’s his fault, Doug decides to stick around to help find a solution, which turns out to be an attack against the rival Irish mob, leaving behind evidence to point to the Russians, hoping to draw them into a mob war and distract them from the chase. The plan works, and the mob war begins.
Thinking it’s all over, the two let their guard down and are promptly captured by the Russians, who would be glad to kill them, if not for the fact that they present their only way to end the war. Having gained some good will with the Irish mob by betraying the Russians before, Andrew & Doug are forced to join them as spies to kill the leader, RYAN SINCLAIR. Ryan, a tough but reasonable man, welcomes them warmly. Andrew & Doug find it difficult to kill Ryan with the heightened security due to the war.
After a few comically poor attempts, the two are caught by a mobster named JIMMY, who tells them he won’t turn them in because he also wants to see the Irish mob fall. Jimmy only joined to support his family, but they now won’t let him leave. The three devise a plan; turn Vlad & Joseph against each other, starting an internal war, and leaving them crippled. Then the Irish mob will finish off the Russians and then, with no competition, security will relax, and they will be able to kill Ryan.
Andrew & Doug return to the Russians. They spread rumors and plant evidence of both brothers betrayal against the other, causing them to turn on one another. Doug & Andrew signal Jimmy that the internal fighting has begun, and Jimmy tells Ryan to attack the Russians. Ryan and his mob are victorious, but, Ryan expresses doubt about the attack that started the war. He points to Jimmy, saying he wanted to leave all along and that he must have started the mob war by planting ‘suspicious evidence’ at the scene of the first attack. Ryan asks if anyone saw Jimmy do it. Doug raises his hand. Jimmy is shot.
In the end, Doug & Andrew decide to stay with the Irish mob. Andrew allows them to use his bank as their personal tax haven and in return receives mob protection; finally getting the security he was promised. And Doug, becoming the mob’s new debt collector, enjoys a life of privilege with minimal work.
Comments (16)
Jason Meyers High concept though it could be expressed with a bit more excitement. Not sure the way to steer you here but the idea of the fake bodyguard doesn't jump out of the logline even though the essential facts are there. The first paragraph contradicts itself-Doug is lazy etc, but he comes up with a clever system and has to take a great deal of action to put it into place. You'd probably get away with this in high concept comedy especially if the action of him being the bodyguard really shows him being lazy and a slob. I think there's places to go with this-mostly a matter of tightening it up..
March 14, 2010Justin Jones Hey, Jason. Great review. I think I might know what you mean about it being expressed with more excitement. It just seemed like there was so much in terms of raw detail to get in that, when I got to the 4,000 character limit, there was no room for comical embellishments or jokes within the synopsis itself. Hopefully the excitement or energy came across either just by the explanation of the outrageous situations themselves and the characters placed in them, or the dialogue in the sample.
March 15, 2010And I realize that the 'uncaring, lazy slob' bit seems to contradict the fact that Doug later puts together a somewhat complex plan and executes it, but really those particular adjectives were means just to convey the fact that he wants maximum reward from this scheme with minimum effort. He's lazy, but when a plan comes to him that will get everything he's ever wanted, he's willing to put up with a little work to get it. There's the initial push to gain Andrews confidence, but that one act is what he's willing to do for a lifetime of comfort. Then, when he's dragged into this swirling, seething mass of confusion and danger, he's really gotten into it too deep and it's more work than he's ever wanted to do in his life, no matter the reward.
I suppose it was just painting him with a broad brush for the sake of characterization, so that you would know what sort of person he is while in the later situations involving the mafia, espionage and unfathomable danger, and hopefully knowing what sort of person he is lets you in on how he would react or feel in those situations in particular.
Thanks for the review. Very helpful.
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Kase T. Gunn The opening set-up reminds me of The Wedding Crashers. Obviously the stories are much different but I like the idea of the protagonist having a system in place to run a scam. It might even be a good idea to explore the possibility of Doug having a partner. For one thing, it would be more believable for Andrew to hire a few guys instead of just one. Usually security isn't just a single person. Also, the partner would add a lot of comedic opportunities to play off.
March 12, 2010Your scene sample was dialogue heavy, although written well. There's potential here. I especially like the idea of Doug's initial plan of "living the good life" backfiring in his face and introducing some real danger into his life.
Justin Jones Thanks for the review. I don't know if I get the comparison to Wedding Crashers, seeing as the set up for that movie is just "we're horny jerks who crash weddings", but I totally agree about liking the protagonist using a system they feel is infallible, then having it blow up in their face. It's always satisfying to see smugness rebuked by reality.
March 13, 2010And I think I can see what you mean about Doug getting a partner, but this movie is really meant to be about these two people in a situation together, sort of like a reluctant buddy movie or an odd couple sort of set up, and having a third person tagging along would just get in the way of that relationship. I can see the partner helping in the beginning, possibly with the believability factor that people on here seem to be obsessed with, but once they get involved with the mob, a third character plays no role other than third wheel.
As for the scene sample being dialogue heavy, you're totally right. The contest rules says that your logline is meant to attract attention, synopsis is for giving the story, and the scene sample is for displaying a knack for writing witty and sharp dialogue. The selected scene, taken out of context, just seems like a guy talking for a while, but when viewed in it's proper chronological order by reading the synopsis, it makes sense. Thanks for the compliment about it being well written, though. I really appreciate it! :) I didn't mean for that last bit to seem snarky. It's just that a few people have said that it has too much dialogue and not enough action, but dialogue is the point of the sample.
Thanks for the review, again.
Mei-ling Mee Mee, doesn't like too much. The dialogue doesn't seem very natural, and that guy wouldn't trust doug anymore than anyone else. Not very believable. Sorry. :(
March 12, 2010Justin Jones I don't see why people keep getting hung up on the fact that Andrew trusts Doug more than the average person would. First, Andrew and Doug inhabit a high concept comedic world where rules of logic and plausibility are slightly skewed. It is a stretch and near impossibility that any of US reading this would follow the same rout as Andrew in believing Doug, but we have the luxury of living in the real world. Lionsgate specifically asked for high concept, which means that some things have to be taken for granted. A healthy suspension of disbelief needs to be employed. When was the last time you saw a 'Y' with some blinking lights make a car travel back in time? Or can you recall the last time you lived the same day over and over every time you woke up?
March 13, 2010And secondly, Andrew has been subjected to countless acts of intimidation and mind-numbingly strange events, and it has left him at his wits end, and when someone shows up at his door offering the very help he needs, the only thing he thinks is that this is his way out. After a weak attempt to think rationally, he breaks down and takes when he thinks fate has handed to him, thus putting his weary mind at ease. His mind is in overload and it takes the path of least resistance to a semi-calm or controlled state. In this world, with this character, in this situation, it makes sense.
But, that aside, I think that a 1 star review is a bit unfair if you just have those two problems with this pitch. You said nothing of the story itself or anything other than your own self-projections into Andrews psyche. I can't argue with you about the dialogue, because that's totally subjective, but a little more explanation would have been nice. It just seems like an over reaction to take away 4 stars and give the lowest rating possible for so few grievances.
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Luke Steinberger I really enjoyed your synopsis. I think you have a really unique idea, and there's a lot of potential for funny back-and-forth between Andrew and Doug.
March 10, 2010I don't love the way you write your dialogue. It just seems like Andrew talks for far too long, making it difficult to stay focused. But that might just be a personal preference.
Good work overall though.
Justin Jones Thanks for the review. I actually know what you mean when it comes to the dialogue in this scene, but it isn't actually typical of the way the dialogue works in the rest of the script. This scene is basically just Doug sitting back and letting Andrew run wild, with his paranoia and imagination getting the better of him.
March 10, 2010Originally, I wanted more from doug, but it just seemed like I only wanted it because it "seemed right" to have him talk more, but it ultimately did noting but stop the flow of the scene. The scene is really Andrew's, and his dialogue is the key, showing us that Doug's plan has worked beautifully and illustrating his easy rise to affluence (thus making his fall even sweeter). I'm not trying to worm my way of out this, because it's my fault for not showing more variety, but the 5-page limit sort of puts a damper on that.
Thanks for the review. (And, if you come back and see my reply, what did you think of the jokes and stuff like that? Was the dialogue itself poor, or was there just too much coming from Andrew at once?)
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