Sole Mates
A hapless shoe desinger takes a chance on a company that identifies your soul mate
Tommy Rollins, a lonely thirty something, still believes that his true soul mate is out there, despite multiple crippling romantic failures. He lives in a world where seemingly everyone his age is married with children. Trudging through the days he listlessly carries on at his job with Zoom Athletics as a shoe designer. His world is tyrannized by a collection of co-workers including his obnoxious, chauvinistic boss Lucky Reynolds.
On a lunch break, Tommy discovers an ad on the back of The Village Voice lost amidst the usual calls for "Healthy Heroin Addicts" and "Romantic Liasons". The ad is for "Twin Flames Soul Mate Service" which boasts that it can find your eternal life partner through a series of tests.
After a particularly poor meeting with Lucky, Tommy is unceremoniously fired from his job. Left reeling with no direction, Tommy takes the New York City L subway line out to Brooklyn to take an unusual chance on Twin Flames.
When Tommy arrives he meets the scruffy, erratic Dylan Esquire. Surrounding Dylan are stacks of phone books that pile up to the ceiling. Dylan runs a series of tests on Tommy and produces a name on a card, Taylor Tomsen...
This dark comedy continuously pits Tommy in situations where he is seemingly the only sane person building to the final dramatic conclusion. "Sole Mates" has a flavor all it's own with laughs on every page where everything that is set up, pays off in some form further down the line.
On a lunch break, Tommy discovers an ad on the back of The Village Voice lost amidst the usual calls for "Healthy Heroin Addicts" and "Romantic Liasons". The ad is for "Twin Flames Soul Mate Service" which boasts that it can find your eternal life partner through a series of tests.
After a particularly poor meeting with Lucky, Tommy is unceremoniously fired from his job. Left reeling with no direction, Tommy takes the New York City L subway line out to Brooklyn to take an unusual chance on Twin Flames.
When Tommy arrives he meets the scruffy, erratic Dylan Esquire. Surrounding Dylan are stacks of phone books that pile up to the ceiling. Dylan runs a series of tests on Tommy and produces a name on a card, Taylor Tomsen...
This dark comedy continuously pits Tommy in situations where he is seemingly the only sane person building to the final dramatic conclusion. "Sole Mates" has a flavor all it's own with laughs on every page where everything that is set up, pays off in some form further down the line.
Comments (71)
Erica H I saw this on the front page and I was excited to read it, hoping to see a good script/idea. However, I must say I was disappointed. I really don't get it.
March 19, 2010From the synopsis, I'm guessing that he takes the name that Dylan gives him and decides to pursue her? First of all, who in the world would take love advice from this idiot? Especially if he just handed you a name after making you get in a box and reading off of cue cards? The only thing that I thought remotely funny was the candy in the box exchange.
I'm giving this three stars on the premise and the potential. However, I think you chose a terrible 5 page section to highlight and even started in the middle of the scene so we are confused from the very beginning. The writing is good, but certainly didn't wow me. I would definitely like to read a different concept written by you. Good luck!
Derrick Paserba Wish there was a little more in the synopsis but I really like the tone of the sample even if it was a little out of context. Hope you can make this story fresh.
March 14, 2010Nick McCool Well written. The almost awkward Dylan provides a humor that compliments the idea that Tommy appears to be the only sane person throughout his experiences. It allows for an open interpretation of Tommy as a character and the world around him, and bringing Taylor in at the end introduces a chance for Tommy to test the sanity of his tester in almost a humorous "why not?" sense. A great start, I would like a chance to see more of it.
March 13, 2010Kendall Lampkin Not too shabby!
March 12, 2010Dioeval Martinez Jr KIND OF REMINDS ME OF THE 'MANNEQUIN' MOVIES. HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!
March 10, 2010COMMENT ON MY ENTRY
http://massify.com/partnerships/lionsgate/makingcomedy/concept/entry/adultsonly
Andy McIlwraith Good writing with some genuinely funny moments. You communicate the character of Dylan quickly and convincingly. My question would be, what makes this a straight comedy and not a romantic comedy?
March 10, 2010Elle Rivers I actually enjoyed reading this. I appreciate the humor that comes from the character of Dylan, but I would like to see where things go with Tommy. I understand it must be hard to convey the whole feeling of the story in just five pages, but I think you did a really good job regardless.Best of luck!
March 9, 2010Jacoub Marley You definitely shouldn't give up screenwriting, but this premise seems a little... tired. Good luck on your next go around.
March 9, 2010Alexander Festa Beautiful work, Mike! I love how the story starts in the midst off off-screen action & we're left to guess why Tommy is sitting there. Nice way to show & not tell. Bringing Tanya in at the very, very end leaves something new yet approachable for a romantic comedy script. If 'Chinatown' has so little exposition of Chinatown, then I certainly buy having your female character just appear at the end--esp. for a five minute short. It fits in excellently, too! A very dramatic out for your story. Tommy's character is epitomized in that final shot, too--so that was a great way to leave the viewer/reader with something to think about.
March 9, 2010Dylan's a pretty strong character--definitely the comedic part. I actually like the idea of keeping the romance and the comedy separately. When the two merge you just have ridiculous, cliche characters--so compartmentalizing the functions of each of your players is swell. Do I see a hint of misogyny and/or homosexuality from Dylan? Maybe I'm just looking too far into it--but if that was an intention of you as a writer, then you did do it well. If your goal was to leave Dylan ambiguous, then you've done that just the same.
Nice way of notating your dialog with the beats--I do the same.
I like the activity you put into your scene--definitely keeps the conversation bet. Tommy & Dylan smooth and alive.
The only thing I can suggest that you make more clear for readers is your scene headers. Call me silly, but I don't know what Twin Flames or Crazy Cow are, for example. That's minor, though.
Simple in production value & well-layered in innovative narrative. If I were writing coverage for this piece I'd most certainly check off "STRONGLY CONSIDER."
I LOVE IT!
Respectfully,
Al
Justin Bailey You're a talented enough writer in the technical sense, but this scene was just really awkward and uselessly out there. It's like if Monty Python had no goal in mind with their comedy, and lacked real talent. I just...I just want some reason to laugh other than one guy is wacky, and another guy is played straight. It's a trick, not cleverness.
March 9, 2010