The Extra Miles
Miles, a dedicated group home worker, loses his identity and ultimately unravels when a smarter, stronger, better-looking Miles is hired to work alongside him.
MILES ARNOLD, 30, is a dedicated employee who loves his job and puts full effort into doing it well. He works in a boys group home where in addition to being his boss’s go-to-guy, he is also celebrated as a hero and role model in the eyes of the five young boys who reside there.
Although average in every respect, to the boys Miles is anything but. Basically he is the coolest, strongest, most talented guy in the room -- but only when he is at work. In the outside world he’s a lovable loser with no friends, no money, and no prospects for a girlfriend.
Enter NINA, a fun-loving gal in her early 20’s who is hired to join the staff at the group home. Miles and Nina quickly develop a good rapport as co-workers and friends. Nina is impressed with the skilled manner in which Miles performs his job. Miles, on the other hand, is completely enamored with Nina, although he keeps these sentiments to himself.
One day Nina mentions how great it would be to go on a camping trip with the boys during the upcoming summer season. Miles sees this as his opportunity to win her over, so he seeks permission from BARRY, his boss, to organize and lead the trip. He gets the green light and sets the date for the following month. Nina is excited and pleased when she hears the news. Most of all, she is grateful to Miles for the opportunity.
For Miles, the plan is now set in motion: During the trip, when he and Nina find themselves alone in a romantic outdoor setting, he’ll tell her how he really feels.
The plan goes awry, however, in the preceding month when an employee at the group home suddenly quits and a new employee -- also named MILES -- is hired to fill the opening. The new Miles is superior to Miles in virtually every way imaginable: Looks, talent, intelligence, physical ability, and charm. He is annoyingly perfect and disgustingly nice. Not only that, but he’s good at EVERYTHING.
It isn’t long before every boy in the house is infatuated with him, along with Barry and the other co-workers. Miles gradually loses his elite status in the house and feels as though he has been replaced by an upgraded model.
It becomes clear to Miles that in order to still have shot with Nina, he will have to do everything in his power to prevent her from falling under the spell of the New Miles too. He tries a number of subtle -- and in some cases not-so-subtle -- tactics to keep Nina away from the new Miles, and to make himself look better in comparison. In each instance his plan backfires and fails miserably, often creating hilariously uncomfortable situations for him to endure through.
His misfortunes continue when Barry invites the new Miles to accompany the group on the impending camping trip. Now instead of concentrating on making his move with Nina, Miles is forced to keep up with the new Miles in a series of competitive outdoor activities. As each scenario produces an unfavorable result, it isn’t long before Miles looses his cool and allows his frustrations to get the best of him.
This is a classic story of male competitive nature told in an interesting new setting with a supporting cast of unique, quirky characters. The story reminds us that there’s always somebody bigger, stronger, and faster to compete with, and that each of us must ultimately accept who we are and embrace our individualism.
*All materials copyrighted
Although average in every respect, to the boys Miles is anything but. Basically he is the coolest, strongest, most talented guy in the room -- but only when he is at work. In the outside world he’s a lovable loser with no friends, no money, and no prospects for a girlfriend.
Enter NINA, a fun-loving gal in her early 20’s who is hired to join the staff at the group home. Miles and Nina quickly develop a good rapport as co-workers and friends. Nina is impressed with the skilled manner in which Miles performs his job. Miles, on the other hand, is completely enamored with Nina, although he keeps these sentiments to himself.
One day Nina mentions how great it would be to go on a camping trip with the boys during the upcoming summer season. Miles sees this as his opportunity to win her over, so he seeks permission from BARRY, his boss, to organize and lead the trip. He gets the green light and sets the date for the following month. Nina is excited and pleased when she hears the news. Most of all, she is grateful to Miles for the opportunity.
For Miles, the plan is now set in motion: During the trip, when he and Nina find themselves alone in a romantic outdoor setting, he’ll tell her how he really feels.
The plan goes awry, however, in the preceding month when an employee at the group home suddenly quits and a new employee -- also named MILES -- is hired to fill the opening. The new Miles is superior to Miles in virtually every way imaginable: Looks, talent, intelligence, physical ability, and charm. He is annoyingly perfect and disgustingly nice. Not only that, but he’s good at EVERYTHING.
It isn’t long before every boy in the house is infatuated with him, along with Barry and the other co-workers. Miles gradually loses his elite status in the house and feels as though he has been replaced by an upgraded model.
It becomes clear to Miles that in order to still have shot with Nina, he will have to do everything in his power to prevent her from falling under the spell of the New Miles too. He tries a number of subtle -- and in some cases not-so-subtle -- tactics to keep Nina away from the new Miles, and to make himself look better in comparison. In each instance his plan backfires and fails miserably, often creating hilariously uncomfortable situations for him to endure through.
His misfortunes continue when Barry invites the new Miles to accompany the group on the impending camping trip. Now instead of concentrating on making his move with Nina, Miles is forced to keep up with the new Miles in a series of competitive outdoor activities. As each scenario produces an unfavorable result, it isn’t long before Miles looses his cool and allows his frustrations to get the best of him.
This is a classic story of male competitive nature told in an interesting new setting with a supporting cast of unique, quirky characters. The story reminds us that there’s always somebody bigger, stronger, and faster to compete with, and that each of us must ultimately accept who we are and embrace our individualism.
*All materials copyrighted
Comments (9)
Douglas Stark I felt this needed to be more specific, giving us more comic moments and detailed character moments. They synopsis went off track when you describe what happened in the "preceding" month, backing up in time. The script pages were well-done and there is clearly a comic premise here.
March 19, 2010Stephen Ananicz Did you say you worked on Fringe?
March 14, 2010Christian Badami Great concept and pitch. The roles in this are great opportunities for actors.
March 9, 2010Made me think of the movie "Moon" with Sam Rockwell! Also made me think of the 80's arcade game "Space Ace"... but I am way digressing into pointless trivia.
This is a believable yet absurd story, such excellent potential for great scenes of comic tension. The kind of comedy that's painful to watch at times because the characters endure such humiliation or awkward embarrassing moments or failures... a man at risk of shrinking in the face of impossible competition and perfection. There is something funny about that, I don't know why! Maybe it says something about the human spirit... You are expected to go on and fight, no matter how much of an underdog you are, even if you don't stand a chance in hell.
The audience may laugh at this man's foibles, but they will understand him, identify with him, and ultimately respect him.
Thanks for adding a worthy piece of work to this event. Fun read.
Best of luck to you!
Cb
Kase T. Gunn Thanks for the great comments Christian. Good reference to "Moon" by the way. That had not occurred to me before, but yes, I can see what you're implying. The idea of being replaced and losing your sense of self is the main idea that I am driving at with this piece.
March 9, 2010Christian Badami I love that theme, and the story surrounding it. Nice work.
March 10, 2010Christine Bartsch I'm so in love with this sweet concept I was tempted to give it a 5 star, but the odd pacing of the scene sample threw me off.
March 9, 2010First, the concept: Love the idea of a male lead who struggles to decide which is more important to him - love or competition. Rang so true! And to settle this struggle in a character that wouldn't normally be competition obsessed because he accepts his own mediocrity in everything but work was a great decision. That Miles is forced by the appearance of what is essentially a better version of himself to then become a better version of himself to reclaim his status and secure love - fantastic.
The scene sample: I had a hard time staying with it because of the extraneous action, like the cork board and the conversation ABOUT how much the boys like the new Miles... I could go on, but what it all boils down to is that in the scene sample you seem to be writing around or about the action of the script instead of writing the action. There are four pages for one conversation which seems to simply be an encapsulation of the synopsis. I'd like it better if we'd seen the open where you introduce this ordinary man, or the moment he meets NIna or the moment the Better Miles shows up.
Concept is fantastic, though! Good work and good luck!
Kase T. Gunn Thanks for the feedback Christine. The coarkboard part was supposed to be a gag. Miles asks George if it looks straight, but what Miles is seeing is the guy standing on the ladder in a very gay pose -- the opposite of straight. That was the intention of the joke but maybe it didn't come across.
March 9, 2010I hear what you're saying about talking about the action rather than showing it. I guess I wanted to give a sense of how annoying it is for Miles to keep hearing his peers praising the other guy and then have him try to counter that in subtle ways.
Best of luck again,
Kase
Christopher Hewitson This is actually pretty good. It's an interesting concept, and you outlined it okay. I would have liked to have known how it ended, though.
March 9, 2010Your dialogue goes down smooth. It's relaxed, natural. But there weren't too many jokes that stood out. I smiled here or there, but there was nothing that was really all that funny. However, I think this idea has the potential to be hilarious. Good luck. And keep writing! You have a knack for it.
Kase T. Gunn Appreciate the comments. Thanks Christopher.
March 9, 2010Christopher Hewitson No problem, man. You deserved it.
March 10, 2010Wanna take a gander at this submission?
http://www.massify.com/partnerships/lionsgate/makingcomedy/concept/entry/pseudosecurity
Would help if you did. :)
Joshua Williams Most of my writing, if not all, comes from experience. I get that feeling when reading this, as if you've been here. Which is good because writing comes from the heart first. I worked on "Fringe" with Joshua Jackson as well as another Josh who was staffed, plus I'm black, so I lost my birth-given name and was called... Williams, my last name. Miles #2 would've been cool instead of new Miles. Especially if it were the original one assigned the #2 status off rip. There also wasn't much on the comedy and again I think of "Employee of the Month". Only because you can play with the same concept in any given situation. "Two men working at the same company vie for the attention of Jane". With that said, well written as far as script, but don't tell too much with the synopsis. "Spoiler Alert"
March 9, 2010Kase T. Gunn You keyed right in on the experience factor Joshua. I did work in group home and the Miles VS Miles situation was pulled straight from reality. I suppose it is a familiar concept, but where I hope it will differ is in tone and delivery. Also my intention is that its less of a "two men vying for the affection of a woman" type of story and more of a "one man being replaced by another and losing his identity" type of story. That was why the characters have the same names. Thanks for the great feedback.
March 9, 2010Bull Shark zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. boring chick flick.
March 9, 2010Kase T. Gunn Any constructive criticism Bull?
March 9, 2010Chris Todd Im surprised this does not have more reviews. This is the most complete entry I have read so far. The concept feels familiar while being extremely unique. The dialogue is funny, and well constructed. Everything works together, the title, log line, synopsis, and script. I would love to see this get more attention.
March 9, 2010great work, and good luck.
Kase T. Gunn Thank you for the encouraging words Chris.
March 9, 2010Randy Gordon-Gatica Good solid concept. There's no question this could work in the type of comedy they're looking for. You do a couple things very well that should be easy and never are. You have a great solid premise and you execute it. I feel like I've written this in this contest on almost every piece I've given notes. This could be a little more Rom Com than guy comedy. Right now it's right at the border, a little closer to romantic comedy. Though I think with this premise it would be easy to adjust to that male comedy realm. It's so close. I can almost see all the strange and weird places this piece is going to go, and is capable of going.
March 8, 2010Kase T. Gunn Thanks for the great feedback Randy. Hope those funky dots weren't too distracting.
March 8, 2010