Three Or Less
An aspiring Life Coach devises what he believes is the ultimate system that will enable any man, anywhere, to get laid.
"Three Or Less" is designed to launch as a short teaser film. The short would then serve as Episode #1 in a series of 13 mini webisodes. After a following has been generated around these online episodes, the concept would be developed further into a feature-length comedy film, expanding the premise into a 90-minute 3-act structure and plot.
The easiest way to describe "Three Or Less" is to let you read the words of our fictional Host & Self-Styled Self-Help Guru DR. FREDJOHN ROBERTSMITH. Robertsmith delivers the following opening monologue at the top of webisode #1. He's a little different than other infomercial gurus... He will occasionally use crass or foul language in his presentations.
"THREE OR LESS" - AS EXPLAINED BY LIFE COACH FREDJOHN ROBERTSMITH:
We've all heard the theory that women love to talk.
Well, fact is, humans love to talk. Both men and women. We all love to blab and blab and go on and on. We love to hear ourselves talk. When we're listening to someone else, we're thinking about what we're going to say next - eagerly awaiting the moment when they shut the fuck up so we can start talking again.
The need to talk - and be listened too - is not just a female thing, there's no need to get chauvinistic about this. As a man, you'd love to talk too - but you have a bigger goal: to get laid.
And that's the basis of this instructional series... Three Or Less. By harnessing and controlling the desire to speak, you will develop an almost magical ability to go from the restaurant table to the rubber box, in record time.
The Three Or Less system is not complicated. It's one simple rule: A man must never use more than three words in a sentence when talking to a woman. No more than three words in a row. Ever.
Now at first this may sound difficult, or even impossible. So this informative series will present examples of how to use the Three Or Less system in a variety of situations.
Let's begin with the typical date scenario. Now, as the woman talks and talks, you patiently listen. At some point common courtesy will kick in and she will say something to the effect of...
WOMAN'S VOICE: "Well, enough about me. I've been doing all the talking. You're so quiet! Tell me about you."
Attention men: This is a trap. It may sound like she's just invited you to speak at will. Opening the door to let you ramble for a while. Don't be fooled. It is a test, and if you run with the ball you will lose the game. If you use this moment to speak more than three words, you will delay or possibly ruin the chance of achieving your ultimate goal, which is sex as soon as possible.
The correct play is to immediately hand the speaking platform back to her - in as few words as possible. Remember: Never respond with more than three words at a time.
Let's take a look at a sample date scenario, to give you an idea how the Three Or Less technique can work...
(We segue to the first demonstration using EXAMPLE MAN. Go to the 5-page scene sample provided for Episode 1, "EXAMPLE #1: DATE DIALOGUE.")
-------------------------------------------
THE MINI-EPISODES, OR "EXAMPLES":
Here's a breakdown of the 13 mini-episodes. Their titles will tell you something about the scenarios in which the Three Or Less system is put to the test with comic possibilities:
THREE OR LESS MINI-EPISODES....
EXAMPLE #1: DATE DIALOGUE
EXAMPLE #2: TALKING DIRTY
EXAMPLE #3: MEANINGFUL TOPICS
EXAMPLE #4: LOVE CLAIM
EXAMPLE #5: MEETING HER PARENTS
EXAMPLE #6: BAD NEWS COMFORT
EXAMPLE #7: THE BIG ARGUMENT
EXAMPLE #8: YOUR STRATEGY EXPOSED
EXAMPLE #9: BREAKING UP
EXAMPLE #10: POPPING THE QUESTION
EXAMPLE #11: WEDDING WORDS
EXAMPLE #12: MATERNITY
EXAMPLE #13: LAST WORDS
----------------------------
FEATURE-FILM POTENTIAL:
The solution of how to incorporate the premise and theme into a feature-length film is still open to development and new ideas.
Does the main character apply the Three Or Less system beyond love, using it to become the head of a major corporation, or even Prez Of The United States? Does he steal the system from another famous self-help guru's secret vault of unreleased material, incurring the guru's wrath and vengeance later in the plot? Do we tell the feature film story from a woman's point of view, living in a world where the Three Or Less system has caught on, with all men obeying it religiously? Have women developed a rebuttal system of their own, using TWO words or less? Will humans ever have a real conversation again?
The plot possibilities are many, and I'm open to suggestions.
----------------------------
Thanks for your time in checking out the pitch.
Cb
The easiest way to describe "Three Or Less" is to let you read the words of our fictional Host & Self-Styled Self-Help Guru DR. FREDJOHN ROBERTSMITH. Robertsmith delivers the following opening monologue at the top of webisode #1. He's a little different than other infomercial gurus... He will occasionally use crass or foul language in his presentations.
"THREE OR LESS" - AS EXPLAINED BY LIFE COACH FREDJOHN ROBERTSMITH:
We've all heard the theory that women love to talk.
Well, fact is, humans love to talk. Both men and women. We all love to blab and blab and go on and on. We love to hear ourselves talk. When we're listening to someone else, we're thinking about what we're going to say next - eagerly awaiting the moment when they shut the fuck up so we can start talking again.
The need to talk - and be listened too - is not just a female thing, there's no need to get chauvinistic about this. As a man, you'd love to talk too - but you have a bigger goal: to get laid.
And that's the basis of this instructional series... Three Or Less. By harnessing and controlling the desire to speak, you will develop an almost magical ability to go from the restaurant table to the rubber box, in record time.
The Three Or Less system is not complicated. It's one simple rule: A man must never use more than three words in a sentence when talking to a woman. No more than three words in a row. Ever.
Now at first this may sound difficult, or even impossible. So this informative series will present examples of how to use the Three Or Less system in a variety of situations.
Let's begin with the typical date scenario. Now, as the woman talks and talks, you patiently listen. At some point common courtesy will kick in and she will say something to the effect of...
WOMAN'S VOICE: "Well, enough about me. I've been doing all the talking. You're so quiet! Tell me about you."
Attention men: This is a trap. It may sound like she's just invited you to speak at will. Opening the door to let you ramble for a while. Don't be fooled. It is a test, and if you run with the ball you will lose the game. If you use this moment to speak more than three words, you will delay or possibly ruin the chance of achieving your ultimate goal, which is sex as soon as possible.
The correct play is to immediately hand the speaking platform back to her - in as few words as possible. Remember: Never respond with more than three words at a time.
Let's take a look at a sample date scenario, to give you an idea how the Three Or Less technique can work...
(We segue to the first demonstration using EXAMPLE MAN. Go to the 5-page scene sample provided for Episode 1, "EXAMPLE #1: DATE DIALOGUE.")
-------------------------------------------
THE MINI-EPISODES, OR "EXAMPLES":
Here's a breakdown of the 13 mini-episodes. Their titles will tell you something about the scenarios in which the Three Or Less system is put to the test with comic possibilities:
THREE OR LESS MINI-EPISODES....
EXAMPLE #1: DATE DIALOGUE
EXAMPLE #2: TALKING DIRTY
EXAMPLE #3: MEANINGFUL TOPICS
EXAMPLE #4: LOVE CLAIM
EXAMPLE #5: MEETING HER PARENTS
EXAMPLE #6: BAD NEWS COMFORT
EXAMPLE #7: THE BIG ARGUMENT
EXAMPLE #8: YOUR STRATEGY EXPOSED
EXAMPLE #9: BREAKING UP
EXAMPLE #10: POPPING THE QUESTION
EXAMPLE #11: WEDDING WORDS
EXAMPLE #12: MATERNITY
EXAMPLE #13: LAST WORDS
----------------------------
FEATURE-FILM POTENTIAL:
The solution of how to incorporate the premise and theme into a feature-length film is still open to development and new ideas.
Does the main character apply the Three Or Less system beyond love, using it to become the head of a major corporation, or even Prez Of The United States? Does he steal the system from another famous self-help guru's secret vault of unreleased material, incurring the guru's wrath and vengeance later in the plot? Do we tell the feature film story from a woman's point of view, living in a world where the Three Or Less system has caught on, with all men obeying it religiously? Have women developed a rebuttal system of their own, using TWO words or less? Will humans ever have a real conversation again?
The plot possibilities are many, and I'm open to suggestions.
----------------------------
Thanks for your time in checking out the pitch.
Cb
Comments (20)
Nate Gross Hey Christian,
March 25, 2010I have to say that I really enjoyed this premise. It has a very distinct and funny voice that I think would really work well in a feature script. I think that the life coach sounds like a funny and interesting character.
In terms of a scene sample, I think this was funny and well written scene, but I would have liked to see the one where the life coach is explaining his system more. It sets pretty much everything up, you could have your protagonist at a seminar or something listening to it, and it's funny enough that you don't need an example of it in action to know that it will be funny.
Overall, I think this is a really great idea and I think you should really try to develop it into a feature idea. The life coach speech alone would make me want to learn more about this story. And I think that with a feature you would be able to do so much more with this premise. Good luck!
If you get a chance please also check out my entry:
http://www.massify.com/partnerships/lionsgate/makingcomedy/concept/entry/rehab
Christian Badami Nate thanks for checking it out. I hear ya man, I definitely debated that issue: how to include Robertsmith's intro in the pitch -- I expected it might be a tricky read if it was in the sample pages because it's basically one block of monologue, hence letting it reside in the synopsis for now. Wanted to use the pages sample to show one of these 3-word dialogue exchanges, cuz people's first question might be "how it it possible to stick to this system?" You do bring up a good point, it reminds me that there needs to be a variety of ways for Robertsmith to deliver his coaching in the mini-eps... i.e. sometimes addressing the camera on an infomercial set, sometimes coaching Example Man through a DVD course playback, or via a set of "Holo-Glasses" included with the Three Or Less system. Thank u very much for your time and input, anymore thoughts on this, please don't hesitate to stop by again. BTW i dig your concept "Rehab."
March 26, 2010Luke Steinberger Along with everyone else, I think you have a lot of great things working here. I think that the suggestion to consider taking this to the stage is particularly good, but I also think it could work as a film, so I'll offer some suggestions in that regard.
March 23, 2010I can't help but think of two Jim Carrey movies here, I'm not sure why. In "Liar Liar" a curse is placed on him so he cannot lie, while in "Yes Man" desperation about his life cause him to adapt a policy and take it to an extreme. It seems like both of those scenarios could work; I think I'm most fond of the curse, although that might stray too far from realism for your taste. I just think there's a ton of comedic potential in him struggling at first when his mouth stops working after three words.
As another thought, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" uses the steps of marriage counseling as a structural guideline for the film, and while this is never stated explicitly attentive viewers pick up on it (or viewers that read blogs for writers and come across the treatment for the film...). Is there a way to modify/generalize the 13 examples so that you accomplish something similar?
Also, "500 Days of Summer" seems relevant as an example of a movie that tells the story of a relationship in a non-traditional way. What if the total number of words was kept under, say, 300? Not that I think there's anything wrong with your title, but a three hundred word relationship would interest me as well.
Anyway, good luck with everything.
Christian Badami Hi Luke, thanks for looking this over. Yes, that was cool suggestion from Joey Biagio earlier about a stage version. Good point about about the "Carrey formula" as it relates to this... Yes, I'd definitely prefer desperation causing this guy to adapt to an extreme policy as opposed to a supernatural or "bump on the head"-type of cause. The point you bring up about struggling with the system is very important. Much of the comedy must indeed stem from seeing him wobbly at first as he constantly fights to urge to say more, and later as he becomes more experienced at it and expands the system beyond love to gain money fame and power.
March 26, 2010Something to think about: How would a die-hard Three Or Less devotee - if he became President of the United States - deliver his State Of The Union Speech? Hmm... I heard a great three word suggestion for that scenario today from one of the commentors here: "We're all fine."
Josh Davidson Dude, I LOVE IT! Let's make it happen! I thought about giving it four stars because it's not exactly what they were asking for, as far as a feature film pitch... but hell I can't stop smiling thinkiing about the 3 word rule, so to hell with that, 5 stars! It's even better than a feature film pitch really... it's a roadmap to a successful internet/viral buzz marketing campaign, building a following and leading into a feature!
March 23, 2010Good stuff... now, seriously, I want in! :)
Christian Badami Hi Josh, thanks very much for taking a look at this. Let's stay in touch about it as things progress... it'll likely be one of the 1499 that ain't gonna make the cut -- if that's the case I'll start the haul to self-produce the mini-eps asap. We'll see whahappens!
March 23, 2010Annette Lorant HI the script made me laugh, I love the concept of the mini series, I think you could find a logline for a feature by looking at all the different examples you did put up and seems like they are in order to for a story. I like the comments you received, David White, and all, this is something that I saw, that the man is the proclaimed Guru is actually a follower of another Guru, and maybe he misunderstood some of the teaching of the guru, he tries to find the guru, maybe the original guru has moved on to another method but the follower doesn't know it, and the guru doesn't want to admit that his method is not working, maybe there are followers to that he meets that are trying to apply the method just some ideas that were inspired by comments that he has a really hard time applying the method, so we see his frustrations ....
March 18, 2010Christian Badami Hi Annette, thanks for your time and creative feedback. I think you're right that the story-like path of the 13 when viewed in sequence can be a starting place to jump off for the feature plot.
March 19, 2010And I'm in full agreement about the aspect of the feature lead man being a follower of another guru.
Taking all these informative comments from the community into account, my current thinking for the feature set-up is: A down-and-out guy, failure at business and love, is frustrated by the thousands of dollars he spent on useless self-help material from an infomercial tycoon (Dr. Robertsmith). Our lead is so frustrated at not being able to get his money back, he breaks into Robertsmith's home, looking for something of value to steal. He stumbles upon a secret vault of "unreleased material," finding the sole copy of a book called "Three Or Less." As he uses the system to rise in power, fame and love, he incurs the wrath of Robertsmith who discovers his system has been released, and realizes the adverse affects of the system on society and himself.
Any thoughts on that approach? Feel free to chime back in. Thanks again so much for your time, feedback and encouragement.
Annette Lorant interesting would the Robertsmith then try to deendoctrinate his
March 19, 2010followers
Christian Badami Yeah, good thought... Robertsmith may be the only one with the key to reverse this potentially dangerous fad. Or, he might just take the credit for being its original creator and destroy the Lead Man who stole it... It could be in this broken, impoverished, ruined state that the Lead finds the road back to true love and free, uncensored communication - while the world outside goes madly further into "Three Or Less" as a global policy, violations punishable by fine or imprisonment. A bit Orwellian, but it could be fun to build a comedy around that foreboding scenario of a self-help system becoming an enforced mandatory restriction.
March 20, 2010David White Nice sample, Christian! I was worried the script wouldn't bear out the possibility in the synopsis -- the dreaded "Loved the concept, not sold on the execution" response. But your dialog was witty and inventive.
March 18, 2010Since you're looking for true feedback, here's my take: since The Man in the sample is in the initial stages of the "Course," I'd expect him to be less than perfect in the plan's execution. Which could mean different things: he might quibble over a four-word answer, rewording it to fit under the limit, such as: "I try to do my best...no, wait...I'm doing my best. No, um... I'm usually at my best... I'm best at... (pauses, smiles, looks her in the eye) Because I care."
All sorts of possible interplay can happen, including a rapid fire interchange where The Man believes he should make every answer EXACTLY three words. Like when she agrees to his suggestion to screw, instead of answering just "Great," he could reply, "Great... REALLY great!"
There could also be some kind of unanticipated torrent of words in a non girl-boy situation, where The Man vents all the things he can't say to The Women. F'rinstance: getting pulled over by a cop and the inevitable question, "Do you know why I stopped you, sir?" could be followed by an uncontrollable tirade where The Man invokes his wrath on everything from stoplight cameras to jaywalkers who are just begging to be run down by a simple, hard-working fellow just trying to get to work on time.
That would be followed by the uncomfortable office situation when the Boss asks the rhetorical question about his Great Proposal, "Does anyone have any suggestions?"
Even going to the deli and finding a create-your-own sub sandwich could result in a three-hundred-word response to the simple question, "What would you like on your sandwich, sir?"
Just as with the "Less Than Three" concept, the possibilities are endless, and could provide great counterpoint to the shortness of The Man's traditional conversations, as well as helping to underscore the liability in this "Get Laid Quick" scheme.
I could even imagine a send-up of the classic scene from "Glengarry Glen Ross," with the Life Coach channeling Alec Baldwin: "ATT. A-Aalways, T-Think, T-Three. Always Think Three. ALWAYS THINK THREE!" Mamet would give his next Oscar nom to write that scene!
Good luck with the concept -- even if Lionsgate doesn't choose it, I could see this getting picked up by another prodco quire easily.
I'd give it 4.5 out of 5 stars, because the concept opens up to so many possibilities.
-- Dave
Christian Badami Thanks very much for giving details on this David. I'm in total agreement that Example Man (and the lead role equivelent in the feature version) needs to be shaky using the system at first.
March 19, 2010And I like your suggestion about him having long speech outbursts as a sort of an unintended side-effect of adhering to Three Or Less in other situations. I've been toying with the idea (for the feature version) that there would be developed a set of eye-glasses which would give purchasers of the system a kind of Hologram of Robertsmith himself, a realistic image of this guru appears sitting across from you and instructs you, even in live trial situations. This might click nicely with this idea you brought up, because later in the story, when the lead character/user of the system is frustrated with the teachings, he could have a long-winded rambling rant at this video guru playback. Of course the playback Robertsmith would not respond, but would occasionally say pre-programmed things at the right moment like "I bet you're pretty frustrated right about now, being new to the system and all" which would further frustrate the user.
I hear ya about the Baldwin scene from Glengarry! That's a great tone and guide for this!
Thank you again for your time and input.
Ben Stewart Very nice concept. Lots you can do with it, and you open the doors for directors to play with it under multiple circumstances. I think you are swimming in "Hitch" territory here, as the only logical conclusion to a feature film version is that this guy is a professional who believes in his teachings so much that he fails to appreciate how true love actually develops between two people... by letting your guard down and being vulnerable, open and honest. Once again, not a new idea, but a good spin on a successful formula. My only recommendations would be to change the guy's name from DR. FREDJOHN ROBERTSMITH to something more analogous like Dr. Kenneth Heart or Dr. Robert Luvlow, and give him a first person narrative with the ability to pause time and have an aside with the audience. If you wanted to get edgy you could give us a pov and stream his thoughts over the female characters ramblings. It would make it easier for us to understand how he is implementing his three or less technique, and show just how committed he is to the practice of it.
March 17, 2010Christian Badami Thanks for reviewing this. Great input and ideas. Definitely room to play with the guru's name, Fredjohn Robertsmith was a last-minute plug-in first-thing-that-came-to-mind choice, I like your suggestions on that. And yes the whole damn system has got to backfire, leading us back to true communication. Streaming his instructions or asides over the female's longer dialogue sections is a unique idea too, I like that. Thanks again for your feedback Ben, much appreciated.
March 19, 2010Josh McKenzie What's with all the "mini-episode" stuff? That has NOTHING to do with this contest. I think you might wanna look in to a different contest to submit this to.
March 16, 2010Christian Badami Read the Lionsgate/Massify guidelines for the answer to your question. The short film aspect is crucial to the assignment at hand. This concept presents a way to incorporate that requested strategy.
March 16, 2010William Stephens Yay, another movie about dudes trying to get laid. Can't get enough of those. :[
March 16, 2010Christian Badami Joshua Crawford made a good observation earlier which relates precisely to your comment... The basic idea being that this concept should be executed as a satire of the sex-comedy genre (in particular: the misguided male notion of "trying" to get laid). The primary thrust/layer would be to satire the world of Self-Help Infomerical Tycoons and Snake-Oil Salesman -- self-styled Gurus who hock half-baked solutions without always considering the potential negative backlash, quickly folding-up their valises and leaving town before the duped masses figure out the scam.
March 16, 2010David White Heh heh... You said "primary thrust." Heh heh heh.
March 18, 2010Gotta stick that in the script somewhere. (:^D)
Christian Badami Glad someone caught it without "pun intended" attached. Sharp eye, sir.
March 18, 2010Rebecca Morris Hey Christian-
March 16, 2010I think the fact that you've received so much feedback really speaks to how your idea has sparked the imagination of others and inspired them to chime in. There really is so much potential here, even as a feature. By the way, I am a huge fan of the whole 'Speak easy' scenario. Really fun stuff!
I've always been impressed with the pitches you present on Massify and how seriously you take every aspect of the process. I would love, love, love to see this happen!
Rebecca
Christian Badami Hi Rebecca, thanks so much for stopping by. Yeah-- the "Speak Easy" aspect could be a good nugget for a feature version... It was a very fun brainstorming session with Justin Jones in the comments below which led to that. (Thank U Justin!) I'm inspired and excited by people's feedback/input on this so far. Best to u always Rebecca.
March 17, 2010Kati Roberts Hey Chris,
March 15, 2010As you know, I find your pitch idea to be a very intriging concept! I was happy to finally get to read the sample script and found it to be a really fun read that was over altogether too quickly.
I instantly want to know more about this character, what's his back story, why'd he develop this system in the first place, how exactly it's changed his life in good ways and bad perhaps? How did his friends react to the system: Did he lose any of them? Have they ALL suscribed and are now the powerhouses of the planet?
AND I instantly want to know more about the system! As a woman, it was really fun to discover how he handles the date situation especially the direct questions and requests to talk more!
And, of course, it got me wondering even further about your suggestion for the feature length version regardinghow real life women WOULD react to this system!
I adore the idea that this could easily be produced in many formats. Sometimes I have time and am in the mood for a fun romp of a feature movie. And other times I really just feel like a quick comedic pick me up in the middle of my work day.
I love that I could experience the same cast of characters in both modes!
I also am a firm believer that one can gain a huge following via serial content (Web or TV series) that will quite loyally follow it's favorite characters to the Movie Theatres!
Take Ali G (Borat and Bruno) for example!
Anyhoo, easy to read due to fun content, concise professionism in the writing (pitch AND sample pages), and an extremely likeable lead character.
BEST of luck on this one!
Christian Badami Hi Kati, welcome! Great to see you here at Massify -- a cool place to network for all levels of creative production.
March 15, 2010Thanks for taking time out of your damn-busy work sched to check this out and review. You were a great sounding-board in the days leading up to posting this for Incubator... You might have noticed your helpful brainstorming led to the feature possibility of the "two word rebuttal system for women." So thank u thank u thank u.
Your excitement about the idea helped give me the courage to put it up for consideration here. You're supportive and encouraging, and with impressive multi-talents and brains, another great asset to this community. Have fun checking out the other pitches on Massify, there's lots of great stuff! Cb