There’s a big difference between apologizing and making amends. Apologizing is recognizing that you’ve made a mistake. Making amends is doing something about your error. For example, it’s paying back the money you have stolen from someone. Although these reparations take several forms, there are some general principles which we should follow. We have to go to the furthest length to make amends as we must do the right thing, no matter what we might face. We may lose our position or reputation, but we are willing to achieve amends. You should also realize that amends can require these things: apology, guilt, sincerity, and remorse. So are you ready to make such amends?
- First of all, you have to think of a way to heal the damage that you have done. You must try to bring goodness instead of the disaster that has occurred because of you. It’ll take baldness, real courage and sincerity to be able to make such amends.
- You also should make a list of people you have hurt. There will be those who must be handled as soon as possible. There might be others; you won’t be able to make a direct apology to them at all. Try to be responsible and reasonable.
- Timing is an essential part as you should make amends at the first opportunity you can get. Sometimes you won’t be able to make amends; it wouldn’t be possible or practical as amends may be far away from our means.
- Sometimes, the unresolved conflict may still exist. So we should do our part to resolve old disputes by making amends. In many cases, we only can go to the person and humbly ask for forgiveness for the past wrong deeds. When we do that, we’d feel relieved about our past.
- You will also need to have a friendly attitude when you get to do this step. You will not be able to succeed in resolving the conflict if you are still angry with yourself and the others.
- You should be openly prepared for any reaction you might get from people you’ve injured before. Be ready to accept their responses without becoming angry at any answer.
- It is also a good idea if you did not take the other person by surprise. S/he has the right to know your intention of making amends. You should leave an open space to talk whenever they might be able to have a conversation with you.
When you try to make amends, realize that you are telling the person you have harmed that you have made a mistake. With the complete confession which might lead to healing, your self-acceptance, and the inner peace you might gain. I guess it’d be tough, but it is worth everything you might face while achieving amends with the others. I wish you would be able to decide on making this step.